Saturday, October 23, 2010

my temporary roomate is making what she calls a savory cake.
right now i'm smelling bacon.
cake? bacon?
call me intrigued and excited.

Monday, October 18, 2010

a lot of stuff on my computer is randomly showing up in french these days.
like the blogspot log in page..
once i logged in, it's all back to english..

so while i still need prayer prayer prayer,
i wanted to express gratitude too.
i'm not homeless.
i'm not home..but i'm not suffering.
i've got a wonderful person putting me up, for a somewhat reasonable price,
this place feels homey.
she has also said that i can come back after i head to cannes next week.
so this november 1st deadline, while still something that i'm working towards,
is not the end.
if i need, i can come here and keep searching for a permanent place while i work.

and she's fantastic. kind, generous, easy going, loves friends and making things, reading, thrift store hunting..
she's also a massuse. hoo BOY!

i'm living in a bit of peace.
the gross sense of desperation has abated,
and i really feel held and somewhat directed.
there are still two apartments that i'm really, really hoping for,
but it's not with the stomach turning panic of last week.

i'm going to cannes.
south of france. cote d'azur. awesome. jacuzzi.

i would like to find something, if i'm meant to, before i go, beacuse it will be quite hard while i'm there.

i've found the beeesssstttt bakery right here in little africa.
when i'm feeling sorry for myself and/or a little extravagent,
i'll go and buy a ham and cheese baguette sandwhich. at only's not shabby.
i can't even describe the baguette.
it's the perfect crispy, chewy, most WONDERFUL thing.

i have a dream of getting a library card.
oooo. english books.
guess what? there are none here!

Friday, October 15, 2010

ok to all my praying friends.
here is where i stand in paris.

there are currently three apartments that i'm waiting to hear about,
all three i think i have a pretty good chance of getting.
but the dilemma is,
while i'm waiting to hear,
do i keep working like a dog to set up more go-see's,
or relax and sleep?

i can just barely afford the damage deposit for each place at this point.
which of course leaves the first months rent.
i'm praying for something miraculous. can you too?

guess what.
for 4 euro's, i bought a baguette, a liter of milk, half a pound of coffee grinds(*), 6 eggs and a carrot. pretty good hey?

* omg the first person to send me some jj grinds wins the lottery. (i haven't seen any grinders here..maybe i just havn't met the right coffee loving people yet.)

so i'm now in my second week long lodging. last week was with this older crazy lady called lotilde. sweet as anything, a christian as it turns out, but a little loopy.
i'm in my second day here at sylvie's. a young 30 something zen addict WHO IS LEARNING HOW TO BE A MASSUSE AND NEEDS TO PRACTICE. boo ya. i've already had two. she is super lovely, very sweet and helpful, and her home, unlike lotildes, acutally feels like a home. i find myself prone to flopping on the couch and watching bbc, or writing blog posts. and it feels so good.

ok. i probably miss you if you're reading this.
seriously sheree, pictures of henry. stat. the tooth.

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

one night of a good cry,

really good day today.
really good.
the last 24 hours have been really hard.
all i'm doing is expending myself at the computer,
sending out so many emails,
and so few reply..
and then the ones that do,
there are 30 other people to see the same apartment.

i hit a wall last night
after being excited to see a little loft share that sounded so promising.
i showed up and it was truly a shit hole.
a mattress on a floor, and disgusting.
490 euros a month.
i had a hard time holding it together on the metro home.

its just that to keep spending money for temporary accomadation,
is leaving me less money for damage deposits and rent.
i don't start my job until the 3 of november. so no income until then.

feeling a little better this morning.
but it's a little harder than i thought it would be.

Saturday, October 09, 2010

people keep asking me what my first week in paris is like.
and really what they are wanting to hear is about the magic of it.
but today as i left the apartment to get some eggs,
i was thinking how my answer,
if truthfully from my heart, is not so positive and shiny.

i find myself not really wanting to leave the apartment.
i feel glued to my computer in hopes of catching the elusive perfect apartment.
i don't really know anyone, so i don't feel like just walking about..
because then i'm just wondering whats going on in my inbox.

there is a grocery store really close by,
and i've been there a few times.
i did the classic parisian thing the other day,
where i bought a ham and cheese on baguette,
and at it sitting in the park overlooking the eiffel tower.
ooo and then i took the metro to this store i'd heard about,
and promptly fell in love with a 750 euro coat. daaaamn.
i entered that echelon for shoes a while back,
but to enter that for clothing is a whole other ball game.
we'll see. i do need a winter coat..

so yes.
it's six o clock on saturday night.
i ran out once to get eggs,
and thats it.
but its not that i feel bad about it,
or bad that i'm not out and doing something fabulous,
i guess it's more that i'm surprised this is what life looks like right now.
and feel bad relating that back to friends.
but i mean, whatevs. i know they don't care.
i just feel weird telling them about the non-fabulousness of it all.

and the supermarkets smell soooo weird,
but you can get a huuuge bottle of beer for a euro and some change.

oh yes, and my job that starts in a couple of weeks,
yes well they are taking me to FUCKING CANNES with them on the 24th.

Thursday, October 07, 2010

alors. je suis la.
i have a french phone number! how cool is that?
i've never had a foreign number before.
i'm staying with a woman who specializes in taking 'first week in paris' cases.
she charges a little more on the expensive side,
but with the pre-departure panic setting in, i contacted her
to ensure i had somewhere to go from the airport.
it's lovely.
if it wern't for the darn building across the street,
i would be able to see the eiffel tower.
we went for a walk to see it tonight,
though pompously i'm not much one for tourist sights.
give me the people and the culture.
and the coffee.

after one day, the metro feels old hat, i got the hang of it pretty easy, which aleviates some stress pour moi.

i'm spending good portions of the day refreshing craigslist, and apartment websites.
hunting, hunting, hunting.
i believe that it will be provided.
my friend lindy said she was praying especially for that,
"in a way that a mother would".
i'm clinging to that. it also makes me very teary.
it's unbelievable to me who i've walked away from in vancouver. ugh.

the most amazing thing i've eaten so far was a puff pastry pie with herb cream cheese spread on the bottom and then loaded up with pan cooked zuchini. simple and divine!

and now, my bed.
it's midnight here.

Sunday, October 03, 2010

i'm living at courtenay's.
today is sunday and on tuesday i fly.
wtf. what the fuck. welcome to france.
this last month seems to have been
a whirl wind of this and that.
this last, what happened.
i'll tell you what though.
i've the most amazing friends in the entire galaxy.
last weekend, chris hosted a full on
turkey dinner for FUCKING FIFTY,
and turned the living room into a stage...
everyone i know played.
the sheree plett experience, jonathan inc,
stephen toon, this old mountain, odegard.

wednesday four came around and helped me
scrub my apartment clean, until one in the morning
(if you count the midnight foundation stop).

friday morning breakfast at the odegards.
diiirty breakfast. with kento's benny's, yum.

last night at mosaic was a treat.
stephen came out to do music, full on band,
and hoo boy. rocky rolly.
some gorgeous gifts, and words.

this afternoon, a girls tea at brittany's
which i'm really looking forward to.
bones, mandy, jord, britt, sher, court and me.
i might cry at this one.

oh lord the crying.
it's everywhere. i feel like i'm constantly
reining in huge torrents of emotion.
and i'm exausted from that.
i can't even let myself cry a little, or wa-hatch out.
i was over at chris' yesterday afternoon,
and lay down on my old bed, and started crying. sheesh.
there is just so much crying.

i'm off this afternoon, before tea,
to go and get my phone unlocked. awesome.
see you from france?