Tuesday, February 14, 2012

contemplating worth today.
what's worth it?
worth working for change, worth engaging with...

it started on the metro this morning with a wee altercation,
(i, of course was not at fault)
but being a person who abhors confrontation,
instead of saying something in return,
i clammed up, turned away and proceeded to ramble a lengthy,
choicely worded diatribe at this person, inside my head.
was it worth stating my case? saying something back?
as it actually happened, i arrived at work grumpy and off kilter.

is it worth persuing means to become a better confrontationalist? (word?)
in the moment, is it worth it to say something?
or really actually better to leave it?
how does one know the line, or the boundries of acceptance in ones own life?
when to let be, and when to strive for change?
because all in all,
i'm not sure becoming a better confrontationalist
will make me a better person, nor enhance my quality of life.

thankfully my grumpiness abated
when i spent the morning and lunch with my friend caroline.
we are very different people,
very different kinds of faith
(who actually believes yoga is of the occult??),
but we are friends.
and that woman can whip up a seared duck breast like NO ONE.