i just had a pretty stunning two days for the heart.
simple, as most things of the heart are, but stunning.
went out walking for what turned into an epic three hour doozy, through la marais, ended up by the louvre, and then back home again...
and walked into my bedroom to see this huuuuuge pile of letters and packages. everything came at once! (except for the boxes from my mom and sister..tracking numbers anyone?)
letters and cards and gifts, and bank statements! apart from acutually having the card in my wallet, i now have a french bank account! which can be a whole other story. who has to go the bank five times to finish things up for a bank account? thats right, french people. or english people, who don't know how to work the french system. me.
but ya, it was so great to suit there and rifle through all the handwritten, handmade, handwrapped wonder.
thank you's to shona (and jord!), britt, trish, lisa and stephen, adam and elyse..wait for your official gushy thank you email.

and today was wonderful and simple because i baked, had tea with my roomates girlfriend, and laaaauugghed, and then talked to those three little people in vancouver who are the same shape as my hole. for over an hour. ohhhh. its good.

merry christmas!
currently sitting in cozy central london flat, quiet for the moment as 6 of 8 have gone off for a blustery day walk and last minute grocery shop for tomorrows epic christmas day breakfast (the cinnamon buns are currently proofing behind me next to the radiator).

this paragraph here is a massive, gratitude filled, overwhelmed emotional shout out to robin cicansky. my partner in skipping the country for year crime, she's studying up in northern england, and thus i have someone to regularily chat with on the same time zone, which in itself is a wonderful gift.
however, upon arriving here in london, a couple hours into conversation, my hosts casually mentioned that packages had arrived for me, and continued on to tell the story about going to pick up the packages from the post, only to be disapointed that they were for me. it took me a second to process this, but then finally.. "hold on, hold on..what???! there are packages HERE?? for ME???" i can't even tell you the level of excitment and joy i felt upon seeing that it was true. my hosts thought it was no big deal beacause they just figured i'd been giving out there address to everyone so that such a thing might occur. they didn't count on the surprise element. and neither did i. only later upon checking facebook did i see that ms. robin cicansky confessed to the jig. oh man. that everyone should have people like this in life. i can't believe the thought and generosity. robin. thanks.

tonight is the midnight christmas mass at paul and louanne's church, which i'm stoked about, followed by chistmas day service tomorrow, and then the whole christmas day to chill out and eat and read and play games.
we've already broken out the skip bo, which playing last night felt so right amongst the music, and conversation and coffees..louanne even said that she might be able to get her hands on a box of settlers of catan, which i admit i over reacted to. settlers? on christmas day?? can christmas day possibly get any better?

sufficed to say,
things are really, really good on this little island (that has cheerios!).
so merry christmas.
i miss you all.

well my dear folks, i am thrilled, and relieved, and overwhelmed with gratitude that i can say,
i'm going to london for christmas!
for those of you that know them,
paul and louanne enns graciously opened up their life in london for this lonely canadian paris dweller.
two nights ago i went and bought my ticket aboard the eurostar train, which i'm excited about in it own right. a two hour train that goes underneath the english channel.

and this pesky lonliness thing.
i sat thinking about it the other day,
and in coming here, leaving my huge life in canada,
i was risking it.
and come what may,
choosing to embrace that experience is paramount.
so right now i'm embracing the lonliness. and it's good.

alright i'm going short again come hell or high water.
here are my inspirations.
imput appreciated.

bad news folks.
last night my computer finally crashed for good.
it's been on the skitz for a couple months now,
so not a huge surprise, no.

just really sad.
i've still access to internet and the like through work,
but so much for the grand uploading of daily photos.

i'm still trying to figure out, budget wise, when a new computer is feesible,
it's looking like january at the soonest, probably febuary.

sigh.

julie and a little parisian appartment splendor.

later tonight i'll upload a couple i took this morning.
a continuous few of what my view is coming out of the metro each morning for work.
it's pretty good. stay tuned.

i really, really, really want these. and have for some time now.
especially when they have the ability to become these.

there has been some badgering from some corners of the world,
and i was thinking about it today,
that henceforth, i'm going to make more of an effort to photographically document goings on here.
i think i'm, mostly sub-conciously, a little conciously, averse to carrying my camera around and whipping it out..that somehow it takes away from me just experiencing. and somehow too, not wanting to paint an unrealistic picture of life here.
because on a bare level, thats what it is for me. just life. just life? hmm.

i guess i should confess that i'm not experiencing paris to it's fullest. i can blame this and that (exaustion, stomach flu, no funds), but i think i'm doing what i tend to default to. which is lay low, make time go by holeing up on my own.
but in being here, is something. something bigger than i'm currently embracing it as.
and i'm wasting it. wasting me.

these were my thoughts today, smoking out the kitchen window, after giving it a pretty decent scrub down (except the floors. still have yet to purchase a damn mop/swiffer thing). i'm not living. i'm letting. it took me a long time in vancouver to acknowledge the same things, but by the time i did, i had a solid, amazing amassment of people in my life. i turned myself from a recluse into a host. which was a huge thing. maybe not recluse..but anyways.

even though i don't have the same amassment, or a person, i need to break out. choose..something.
for now, that something is taking more photo's intentionally, intentionally being creative. using that eye. we'll see what happens next.

confused by the previous post?
don't worry, it's to enter a contest. to win a rug!! seriously.

so i bring to you today,
things that i'm happy about.

1. the coffee machine in my metro station has a 'caramel cappacino' option. only 1.20.

2. i just found out that i'm getting off three hours early tomorrow due to american thanksgiving. i'm going to see harry potter matinee!

3. the bakery downstairs. well its a love/hate thing. amaaazing bread, but always sold out by the time i get home. i kind love that i have to strategize to get bread though.

4. cheap medicine at the pharmacy. i've either food poisoning, or this mysterious 'gastro-intestinal 24 hour thing'. either way it's wreaking havoc on my middle section. and my temperature levels.

5. i was going to write earplugs, but they end up giving me a severe headache in the morning after wearing them all night. gah. so not earplugs. still hunting for fall asleep quickly idea's.

6. bacon.

7. impending mail for my mailbox. 202 rue du faubourg st-martin, 75010, paris, france

8. buddy miller's new album in the new year.

oh look at how that floor is bare.
i sure could use a rug right there.

well looky here looky here.
i just found something very cool.
in vancouver one just opened up a little while ago by the faux bourgeois...
a drop in sewing cafe!
with tuesday night knitting workshops!
and the best bit, is that it's in my neighborhood.
so now i think on tuesday's i'll be knitting.
and once a month they have an all day class where you can make one of their patterns with one of their instructors.
yipeee.

anyways.
super stoked.
pip pip.
talk soon.

yesterday i met people.
real people actually talked to me!
then i cried.
the strength of the emotion surrounding it blindsided me a little.
i went to a service called verticale, put on by the fonderie,
which is the church that had piqued my intrest before arriving in paris.
turns out they don't have regular services,
just this once a month thing.
BUT.
BECAUSE PEOPLE TALKED TO ME
i was able to find out about a tiny little artistic church,
with real musicians,
that meets every week.
you guys. my hopes are freaking high on this one.
i cannot wait to go and check it out.

churches here have been pretty disapointing.
one was super old school evangelical..i caught myself wincing a couple times.
the other which i also checked out yesterday,
was RAH RAH!! we're hip!
we have a ten piece band!
and none of us are over 24!
nor do we have any musicianship whatsoever!
the funniest thing was that whenever anyone prayed,
(everything was in english and french)
their voice automaticaly went into this southern drawl.

you guys i'm looking for people of the heart.
which reminds me,
i've been reading jean vanier's becoming human (again)
and its killing me.
i miss mosaic something fierce.
a living out of the reality that we're all very broken.
bu broken together. and somehow it's gorgeous.

a list of things that they have in france, but not in canada. that i love.

1. butter with sea salt crystals
2. a kick ass public transportation system.
3. baguettes
4. pain au chocolate (i know it might seem like you have those last two in canada, but i assure you, you don't)
5. dijonaise. mayo! dijon! it cheap and dirty sqeeze bottles. we prob have that in canada actually.
6. FANTASTIC 4 dollar wine bottle at the grocery store.

a list of things they have in canada, but not in france (and are the worse for it).

1. MOPS. oh my god.
2. peanut butter
3. cheddar
4. sourdough
5. dryers
6. washing machines that take 1/2 hour. (2-3 hours a cycle here folks)

my body has lots of good robaxacet in it right now.
oh ya. going to be a good sleep tonight folks.
which hasn't really been happening these last few.
its the first time in a long time that i've only had one pillow at my disposal,
and its wreaking havoc on my neck and shoulders,
causing a terrible headache during the day.
ah, first world problems.

single bachelor boy has no mop.
let me tell you just how severly the kitchen floor needs mopping.
i asked him if he had one somewhere,
and darn'd if there wasn't a word for mop in french!
trying to describe,
we finally came around to the idea of cleaning the floor with bob marley's head.
also no chef's knife.
cutting up vegetables with a paring knife blows.

darned it also if
coffee from a little metal pod, that you put into your machine,
isn't a really, really good cup of coffee.

came home from a long day,
to a good supper,
and a perfect chat with a much missed christoph.
he's in LA for a guitar conference or something,
and is going to the house of blues tonight.

this robaxacet is makin me feel so good,
i might skip watching an episode of man men tonight,
and go to sleep! yeepee!

bisous.

i'm incredibly happy to say that finally i've a home.
i've just arrived not a half hour ago,
and in the process of rearranging everything,
sorting out this and that, getting myself aquainted.
tedious, but wonderful.
(i oddly enjoy this bit, knowing that when i'm done,
i'll have a space. a sanctuary of sorts)

i had to sit and write to tell you all though.
my address is
202 rue de Faubourg Saint-Martin
75010 Paris, France

i'll double check to make sure thats all that you need, you know, to write letters and things. :)

it's been a long month, and i have to thank you for the prayers and good thoughts, because it got me here i think.
i hadn't though it would be as hard as it was,
but i look forward to figuring out what julie looks like this side of the hard part.

so i'm here.
and home.
and thankful. incredibly thankful.

how are you?

my temporary roomate is making what she calls a savory cake.
right now i'm smelling bacon.
cake? bacon?
call me intrigued and excited.

a lot of stuff on my computer is randomly showing up in french these days.
like the blogspot log in page..
once i logged in, it's all back to english..

ok.
so while i still need prayer prayer prayer,
i wanted to express gratitude too.
i'm not homeless.
i'm not home..but i'm not suffering.
i've got a wonderful person putting me up, for a somewhat reasonable price,
this place feels homey.
she has also said that i can come back after i head to cannes next week.
so this november 1st deadline, while still something that i'm working towards,
is not the end.
if i need, i can come here and keep searching for a permanent place while i work.

and she's fantastic. kind, generous, easy going, loves friends and making things, reading, thrift store hunting..
she's also a massuse. hoo BOY!

i'm living in a bit of peace.
the gross sense of desperation has abated,
and i really feel held and somewhat directed.
there are still two apartments that i'm really, really hoping for,
but it's not with the stomach turning panic of last week.

i'm going to cannes.
south of france. cote d'azur. awesome. jacuzzi.

i would like to find something, if i'm meant to, before i go, beacuse it will be quite hard while i'm there.

i've found the beeesssstttt bakery right here in little africa.
when i'm feeling sorry for myself and/or a little extravagent,
i'll go and buy a ham and cheese baguette sandwhich. at only 3.80..it's not shabby.
i can't even describe the baguette.
it's the perfect crispy, chewy, most WONDERFUL thing.

i have a dream of getting a library card.
oooo. english books.
guess what? there are none here!

ok to all my praying friends.
here is where i stand in paris.

1.
there are currently three apartments that i'm waiting to hear about,
all three i think i have a pretty good chance of getting.
but the dilemma is,
while i'm waiting to hear,
do i keep working like a dog to set up more go-see's,
or relax and sleep?

2.
i can just barely afford the damage deposit for each place at this point.
which of course leaves the first months rent.
i'm praying for something miraculous. can you too?

3.
guess what.
for 4 euro's, i bought a baguette, a liter of milk, half a pound of coffee grinds(*), 6 eggs and a carrot. pretty good hey?



* omg the first person to send me some jj grinds wins the lottery. (i haven't seen any grinders here..maybe i just havn't met the right coffee loving people yet.)


so i'm now in my second week long lodging. last week was with this older crazy lady called lotilde. sweet as anything, a christian as it turns out, but a little loopy.
i'm in my second day here at sylvie's. a young 30 something zen addict WHO IS LEARNING HOW TO BE A MASSUSE AND NEEDS TO PRACTICE. boo ya. i've already had two. she is super lovely, very sweet and helpful, and her home, unlike lotildes, acutally feels like a home. i find myself prone to flopping on the couch and watching bbc, or writing blog posts. and it feels so good.

ok. i probably miss you if you're reading this.
seriously sheree, pictures of henry. stat. the tooth.

one night of a good cry,
AND I'M BACK IN THE GAME.

really good day today.
really good.

the last 24 hours have been really hard.
all i'm doing is expending myself at the computer,
sending out so many emails,
and so few reply..
and then the ones that do,
there are 30 other people to see the same apartment.

i hit a wall last night
after being excited to see a little loft share that sounded so promising.
i showed up and it was truly a shit hole.
a mattress on a floor, and disgusting.
490 euros a month.
i had a hard time holding it together on the metro home.

its just that to keep spending money for temporary accomadation,
is leaving me less money for damage deposits and rent.
i don't start my job until the 3 of november. so no income until then.

feeling a little better this morning.
but it's a little harder than i thought it would be.

people keep asking me what my first week in paris is like.
and really what they are wanting to hear is about the magic of it.
but today as i left the apartment to get some eggs,
i was thinking how my answer,
if truthfully from my heart, is not so positive and shiny.

i find myself not really wanting to leave the apartment.
i feel glued to my computer in hopes of catching the elusive perfect apartment.
i don't really know anyone, so i don't feel like just walking about..
because then i'm just wondering whats going on in my inbox.

there is a grocery store really close by,
and i've been there a few times.
i did the classic parisian thing the other day,
where i bought a ham and cheese on baguette,
and at it sitting in the park overlooking the eiffel tower.
ooo and then i took the metro to this store i'd heard about,
and promptly fell in love with a 750 euro coat. daaaamn.
i entered that echelon for shoes a while back,
but to enter that for clothing is a whole other ball game.
we'll see. i do need a winter coat..

so yes.
it's six o clock on saturday night.
i ran out once to get eggs,
and thats it.
but its not that i feel bad about it,
or bad that i'm not out and doing something fabulous,
i guess it's more that i'm surprised this is what life looks like right now.
and feel bad relating that back to friends.
but i mean, whatevs. i know they don't care.
i just feel weird telling them about the non-fabulousness of it all.

and the supermarkets smell soooo weird,
but you can get a huuuge bottle of beer for a euro and some change.

oh yes, and my job that starts in a couple of weeks,
yes well they are taking me to FUCKING CANNES with them on the 24th.

alors. je suis la.
i have a french phone number! how cool is that?
i've never had a foreign number before.
i'm staying with a woman who specializes in taking 'first week in paris' cases.
she charges a little more on the expensive side,
but with the pre-departure panic setting in, i contacted her
to ensure i had somewhere to go from the airport.
it's lovely.
if it wern't for the darn building across the street,
i would be able to see the eiffel tower.
we went for a walk to see it tonight,
though pompously i'm not much one for tourist sights.
give me the people and the culture.
and the coffee.

after one day, the metro feels old hat, i got the hang of it pretty easy, which aleviates some stress pour moi.

i'm spending good portions of the day refreshing craigslist, and apartment websites.
hunting, hunting, hunting.
i believe that it will be provided.
my friend lindy said she was praying especially for that,
"in a way that a mother would".
i'm clinging to that. it also makes me very teary.
it's unbelievable to me who i've walked away from in vancouver. ugh.

the most amazing thing i've eaten so far was a puff pastry pie with herb cream cheese spread on the bottom and then loaded up with pan cooked zuchini. simple and divine!

and now, my bed.
it's midnight here.

i'm living at courtenay's.
today is sunday and on tuesday i fly.
wtf. what the fuck. welcome to france.
this last month seems to have been
a whirl wind of this and that.
this last week...man, what happened.
i'll tell you what though.
i've the most amazing friends in the entire galaxy.
last weekend, chris hosted a full on
turkey dinner for FUCKING FIFTY,
and turned the living room into a stage...
everyone i know played.
the sheree plett experience, jonathan inc,
stephen toon, this old mountain, odegard.

wednesday four came around and helped me
scrub my apartment clean, until one in the morning
(if you count the midnight foundation stop).

friday morning breakfast at the odegards.
diiirty breakfast. with kento's benny's, yum.

last night at mosaic was a treat.
stephen came out to do music, full on band,
and hoo boy. rocky rolly.
some gorgeous gifts, and words.

this afternoon, a girls tea at brittany's
which i'm really looking forward to.
bones, mandy, jord, britt, sher, court and me.
i might cry at this one.

oh lord the crying.
it's everywhere. i feel like i'm constantly
reining in huge torrents of emotion.
and i'm exausted from that.
i can't even let myself cry a little, or wa-hatch out.
i was over at chris' yesterday afternoon,
and lay down on my old bed, and started crying. sheesh.
there is just so much crying.

i'm off this afternoon, before tea,
to go and get my phone unlocked. awesome.
bye.
see you from france?

hello, hi, how are you?
i'm fine. a manageable level of stress.
which i accounted for back three weeks ago
WHEN I FUCKING DECIDED TO FLEE THE COUNTRY ON A WHIM.

it's crazy. i've nearly everything at this point that getting a visa requires.
i think the only things left are the ID photo's, the cover letter, and the insurance (which i was to get to today, but they were closed.)
the only brutal part is that, at this point,
i'm showing up there with not a lot of funds.
but i have to keep reminding myself
of the providential flow of this entire operation,
and that when i feel deep peace,
it's with the mantra, it will work out.

i've had unbelievably generous offers from friends,
including access to a student line of credit
("oh there's no way i'll use it all. let me know"),
a goodbye/pass the boot party
(which, to the people i've mentioned it to,
have been really, REALLY excited about it),
and just yesterday the sweetest text message
from mr. odegard which has had me smiling all day:
"seeing you last night reminded me that i'm going to miss you.
i'm sure you've got other parties planned,
but i want to have one for you.
all things julie-
dirty sausage rolls, hot guys,
f-bombs going off everywhere and innapropriate amounts of booze"

right??? how awesome.

i'm just thinking how,
as i've entered this stressful thing, but this grand and glorious thing,
i don't think i've ever felt so loved and cared for.
it's like i made the decision,
and my whole life around me wove together the vehicle to get me there.
hurrah! i'm teary!

smooch.

WHOA-HO-HOA!!!!
come to mama.

um, HURRAY for this guy.
i'm so thrilled that i came across this dude's blog.
it's been unbelievably helpful.


things are coming along.
two weeks until the consulate appointment.
things will be downhill after that i think.
except for the getting rid of apartment and contents..
oi.

MOVING TO PARIS.
OCTOBER 1ST.

the checklist is crazy long of things to do.
big and hard and expensive stuff,
little small and tedious stuff.

quit job: check
give notice to apartment: check
request letter from provincial medical provider: check

flight, insurance, and visa...still no check.
also 6000$. no check.

i believe i believe i believe!

big things afoot.
risky, scary, pants shitting-ly big.
but if it works,
and at this point it's a large if,
could be the most worth it i've ever experienced.

tom said last night,
in life,
you may regret not taking enough risks,
but you will never regret taking too many.

i just deleted that last one because it reeked of irrationality and emotion.
most of what said stands true,
and i'm still looking into what i said,
but i'm not sure i'm ready for just everyone to know it.
cheers!

whoa.
it's only noon.
which should sum up nicely the rough winds of the morning.

not 10 minutes in, a full fledged tantrum regarding my presence,
"i don't WANT YOU HERE. you're RUINING MY MORNING"
this kid is like milady from the three musketeers.
you know this one?
an impeccable woman of society, the manners, the humor, etc,
and with hidden huge veins of anger and malice coursing through her.
scorned once, she goes and asks the cardinal to eliminate the gent.
aiya. a four year old milady.

late for tennis this morning, because the oldest couldn't find his runners,
but instead of looking for them with me,
continued to argue about wearing his flip flops.
OMG. his head was lucky to remain attached.
so racing, racing,
drive off in a huffy hurry,
only to discover once at the club that i cannot find my wallet.

sit uneasily through olivia's lesson, while the boys play crazy squash with a friend, and as soon as she's done,
race home,
look everywhere, the house, the car, the shed..nothing.
i'm seriously about to heave ho the ugly sob.

still frantic in the front yard, i see a bit of yellow walking towards me.
i look up and it's the gentleman from across the street in the orange house,
who, along with his partner i've always wanted to talk to, and get to know,
and he's holding my wallet.
he'd picked it up after it'd flown off the roof of the car.

i tear up and make a blubbery thank you and introduction blah blah.
and lovely him,
instead of being abhored at my tears,
looks at me like he'd wrap me up in his arms.
i'm crying as i write this
because i know now that it was god.
everything all wrapped up,
lessons, comfort, blessings,
there he was.



writing is CATHARDIC!!!

i really, really, really, really,
want to get this set one day.
i'm undecided if i should just get the whole thing in one go?
or should i hunt, one by one, until they are all mine?
how gorgeous will these look on a shelf?
ugh. awesome!

this evening i have a grandiose plan
to clean my apartment
whilst listening to edith piaf
drinking gin
and smoking cigarettes.
i may have to put my mad men dress on
to make the whole thing perfect.

today i woke late
had breakfast late
enjoyed the globe and mail
walked through gastown and downtown
and bought some broccoli.
i've declined two invites for tonight,
so as to just be in my own space.
i'm really, really, looking forward to it.

someone told me the other day that
paris is the place to be
for a single women in her 30's.
thats me! ...almost.
the person told me that
there is something about the city, about the age,
about that time in your life,
that weave together something altogether magical.
i'm really looking forward to this.

still lying in bed on the last day of my holiday..
i'm back to work tomorrow, and that's ok because it has been a spectacular time off.
you know those times when you travel
and you sort of say to yourself, lets just giver.
that was like this.
i breakfasted with friends nearly every morning,
saw a couple of matinee movies,
mid day beers at the beach,
late night beers at friends..
and so forth.

so good!

got back super late last night from bowen island.
sheree plett played a show there over looking the ocean,
and i met the crazy grieving guy from grey's anatomy that shot all the doctors.

i went swimming in seemingly the cleanest bit of ocean i've seen in a while. so clear and gorgeous.
now i have salt water hair. kinda messy. dirty. chic?

i have to go and get some coffee and breakfast. and it's 1pm!
oh holidays.

hey there.
miss me?
i claim summer-itis as my defense for not posting anything up here in a while.
seriously,
this past week, count them, 4 summery bbq's, dinners, and backyard concerts!
this little mouse has been busy as a bee and happy as a clam and nearly as tanned as snooki.
whoooaaa.
can i make a jersey shore reference, in all classiness?
just for any clarification of my reputation, i've never even seen ONE episode thank you very much.
but that orange lady pops up everywhere!

so i'm sitting here, day one of my week holiday nearly complete,
feeling pretty good, and relaxed to the max.
four more lovely days to go.
and yet, an overnight on bowen island is still ahead!

some sad news,
i'm on the cusp of selling my bike.
this lady was not deigned for the tininess of those tires.
i keep pinch flatting the tube.
oh it hurts though, beacause she's so gorgeous, and i feel so good riding her,
but we are not meant to be.
these final days have been filled with more rage and frustration than pride and love.
she shall be posted to craigslist imminintly.
a wider tire'd hybrid looms on my horizon as soon as i can secure funding.

since it's been a while,
have you seen this??
a gorgeous rendition of lisztomania by a bunch of elementary school kids??
and their amazing, loving teacher?
i have a feeling i'm late to this, but
check it out!!

also
here in vancouver,
some friends of mine are putting on a film and art festival centered around bicycles.
the main boys responsible are the zenga's
and boy are they a crazy bunch.
check out this rad website for a trailer of their film
(which i've seen, and is utterly fantastic!)


ok i think i'll end here.
if you're around and don't have plans for breakfast this week, let me know!
also if you'd like to purchase my bike, let me know!
love julie

i'm just sharing this everywhere because it's so damn awesome. the sneaky hate spiral. so much truth.

hoo ya!
a little more cleaning up to do here at work, and
then i'm OUTTA here for a five day weekend!
AND it's payday!

who can handle all these capital letters and exclamation marks??!!

heading out kayaking tomorrow on bowen island, which i'm super stoked about.
tonight i'm going to a wine and craft night, just like if i lived in, say, saskatoon.
thursday is going to be a super rad bbq for canada day, which can be summed up by the large sheet cake resembling a canada flag that sheree and i are making.

welzers,
why am i typing????
i need to get out of here!!!!!

smooch.

oh ya, garance dore has this great post on elegance beyond clothing. it's really nice. what we can all strive for as humanity. maybe. i like it. hmm. go and read it.

i brought my computer home from work this weekend
because as of late i've found an internet signal from my bedroom,
better yet, my bed!
so yes, at 4 on saturday afternoon,
i'm in my bed.
i have not travelled far from it in the three hours i've been awake.
last night i hosted a back alley bbq, behind my apartment building.
last night was really fun.
last night i drank too much.
now i'm not feeling well.
for the first hour i was up
all my thoughts were consumed with getting coffee,
and is there anyone who i can manipulate into bringing me some?
the answer being no,
i ended up doing a weird version of the walk of shame to the coffee shop on the corner,
shielding my eyes and shuffling as upright as i could manage.
then i fell down on the couch and watched real estate shows on tv.
my head is still pounding!

last night was a hoot though.
we emptied my apartment into the back alley
and created a living room with couches and cozy chairs.
i had only two short stools to use as tables,
so skinny tim went up the alley and came back with
a huge piece of plywood that we lay across,
et viola, a more than big enough table.
along the same vein,
chris did the same when we found ourselves short of chairs later on.
it's a good alley, this alley of mine.

until early this morning,
i had two belgians staying with me on my couches,
and they were in raptures as this was the only day and evening they were able to be in vancouver.

my head is still pounding and i have to go and get clean,
chris will be here in about 20 minutes and we will go to mosaic and do the music thing.
oh man.
advil, advil, advil.

love julie

i would like to tell you about the very best sandwich in all of vancouver.
and as i type this,
i feel you should know my hands are absolutely black.
they are covered in chalkboard paint and i cannot get it off.
but the wall looks great.

so, the very best sandwich.
it can be found at little nest on charles just off the drive.
prepare yourself though,
this place is insanely kid friendly,
and i just about went insane waiting for my sandwich. shudder.
i don't know how to lead into this with a verbal drumroll or something,
so,
its salami, roasted heirloom tomatoes, basil mayo and boconccini all of it served warm on toasted baguette.
swoon.
it's unbelievably savory, large, and gorgeously presented (to go that is. i afformentioned why i could never eat there).

go get it!
i only get it about once or twice a year, because for some reason i forget about it,
and also when i want it, i've got the work car and then i give up because its impossible to find parking.

but i had it today.
and now i'm telling you.
go forth.

hey i finally beat my seven year old in chess!
thanks bryan at jj bean!
taught me a few things such as the dutch defense.
booya. the seven year old went DOWN.

my beloved (in very platonic, fair weather way) spain,
lost this morning to fucking SWITZERLAND.
whaaaaaaaaa. you're the reigning euro champions for heavens sake. where was your defense?
and that is all i have to say about sports.

now back to shoes for a minute.
remember those gwyneth paltrow wonders i showed you last week,
well i saw them in the store and let me tell you,
they are not so nice up close.
and the maggie's, i feel like they are just
a little bit too nerdy.
so after i had dinner with chris,
who's back from ottawa (yipee!),
i left the store empty handed.
what am i going to do?
maybe just replace the birks. boring.

i'm going to hunt down a good tailor to patch up my black skinnies that i blew out.
and then i will say,
WELCOME BACK LOVERS!

a rough start to my weekend,
had me scrambling around looking for the best and greatest cathartic options.
and oh my, cartharsis there was.
friday was nachos and beer and coffee and whatnot with b-heeb,
followed by smoked salmon and salad and birthday cake with great people.
saturday was a late start, deacon's breakfast, and a movie, followed by a bbq with brand-new friends that i met the night before at smoked salmon.
then sunday was supposed to be julie and courtenay day until julie remembered that she was supposed to be at her grandma's house for dinner. oops.
then it was julie and courtenay go to grandma's house and eat and eat eat.
and julie does free laundry! yipee!
and also i got every soccer pick right on sunday! six points! wahoo!
i currently am sitting in the middle of the pack, which ain't too shabby.

ok and before i go,
who remembers this??
thanks to mandy for this gem, which has had me giggling all morning.
SIZE SMALL!!

ok so i'm in fairly desperate need of summer shoes.
every now and again checking out the gravity pope website to see whats new.
well, today was KA-CHING. BULLSEYE.
i found two, very different, but both probably neccesary, pairs of sandals.
i call them
"the gwyneth paltrow side of julie"
and
"the maggie gyllenhaal side of julie"

ok , ok, wednesday, here we go.
yep, its raining something fierce.
but i've got a large cup of coffee, albeit slightly cold at this point.
but i would argue that's what makes a good cup of coffee.
whether it remains good even though cold.
i lie, that's not my argument, it's kathleens. i'm in agreeance.
and speaking of coffee,
i laugh everytime i think of this,
but in order to prevent spilling whilst driving,
according to kenton,
holding your coffee mug in the air,
"cushion the coffee tsunami".

major laundry on the go,
i've brought some of my own over to sneak in.
a combination lack of time and money to get it done chez moi.
tonight i'm going out with the cool kid parents from the kids' school.
we're going drinking on the drive! ya!
i'm the only single, and the only non parent.
being a pisces is sure fun. you can make friends with anyone!
except for people i don't like.
there's a few of those.

downloaded my visa application for france the other day.
my lord there are a lot of factors required of you.
4500$ in the bank,
travel insurance, personal liability insurance, whoa.
plus a round trip plane ticket, (for over a year?? that freaking pricey)
some sort of advance address and job.
i'm wondering if there is not a way to fudge some of this.
this is not a good way to be thinking.

anyways.
happy hump day.

I CHANGED MY OWN BIKE TIRE TUBE YESTERSDAY!!
IT ONLY TOOK ME THREE HOURS!!
at the end though i had to call in the big guns for getting the tire back onto the frame properly.
seth. love ya. see you tonight. thanks for the plastic tire prong things.

Mavis Staples Tells All About Her New Album With Wilco's Jeff Tweedy

this morning i turned into a swimming pool as i walked the kids to school.
very much downpour.
it's going to be a fun day for most of these kidlets,
benjamin has his first triathalon. what??? he's seven.
and it's raining.
in my books that warrants calling the whole thing off and drinking hot cocoa and watching cozy movies.
thank god its my boss whose volunteered to do the driving and the cheering on.
nanny mcjulie is drinking hot coffee and reading fantastic mr fox to the four year old.
and said four year old has her kindergarten orientation this afternoon.
the third annual kindergarten orientation.
she could not be more excited.

i went to the states to buy pants last night.
i bought a hat instead.
then coming back met up with most of my favorites for pizza in surrey.
hilariously we've all vowed to try and get in to the same nursing home later in life.
rook, skip bo, dutch blitz, coercing henry eisenhauers kids to sneak us in some booze.

and i felt so much joy and peace.
for if i can keep these guys until the end of my life,
a happy life indeed.

i'm becoming a product whore.
now look what i found.
its cool.

do you live in an apartment like me?
is composting a pain in the ass like it is for me?
because you hate fruit fly's and stink so much?

LOOK WHAT CAME ACROSS MY PATH!

it fits in your freezer! it's made out of silicone! you just pop out one big frozen brick to compost!

happy friday!
my bum hurts!
(so does my vagina),
because both those things are getting used to my new bicycle and it's seat.
ouch!
but i got a new bicycle!
and it's gorgeous. in an understated way.
black norco road bike with dusty rose handle bar tape.
i rode it home last night, and to work this morning, with relative ease.
the last bike i had (crappy, crap, craphead)
forced me to walk it up certain hills on the commute,
but the new gal made it easy as pie.
pie from scratch. still takes a while.
but i blew through every hill i couldn't do a few years ago. yahoo!

had delicious elevensies with the plett ladies this morning. and also wee henry.
gotta figure out where i'm going tonight.
in my head i'm thinking that there is, like, nine shows going on tonight,
but in reality, there's, like, two.
jazz or jon?
i can bike to jazz, and jon is cheap.

well, off we must go to pick up benny from ecole.
he can read now!! i think he finally broke through something this week.
just this morning i read with him his daily book that school gives him, and i was amaaaaaazed.
poor kid. i think there was a little bit o pressure on him to figure it out.
or maybe the pressure was just on the rest of us and he didn't pick it up at all.
that'd be great.
tata!
happy friday!
KATIE. this is a shout out beacause i didn't email you back yet.
i'm lame.
and really bad about reading emails then forgetting to write back.
LOVE YOU MISS YOU I WANNA COME TO EDMONTON SOON.

hoo.
had a great morning, baked some muffins,
haha and actually had the thought
"did i just put too many chocolate chips in there?"
who thinks that? about chocolate?
but it's ok.
i halfed the flour with whole wheat flour
and threw in some apple sauce in place of some sugar.
all that hard substitution work down the drain because of a heavy hand with the chocolate.
how many people have come undone that way?
i guess many, many, many.

but then a bit of a rough afternoon,
two kids in dire need of some low down time,
dragged to superstore against their wishes.
i feel like i've gotten mad quite a bit this afternoon,
feeling bad about it,
feeling frustrated with the immediacy children require
feeling like a huge case of the mondays.
but then par chance,
i came across this amazing, amazing apartment on design sponge,
and all my grumpiness and mood instantly jumped ship
and in place was a joyous, genuinely emotional response to beauty.
creation and nature are definately one thing,
but bigger responses in me come from man hand created beauty.
a chair.
an apartment.
white walls.
gilt gold.

the idea that the mind of man can think up, feel up, dream up, express oneself through a space.
ugh!
i love how these things garner up an emotional reaction.
oh pieces. stop.

do you feel settled?
in life, or whatever?
i'm wondering if it's possible to feel settled whilst living in the city.
i love the city. all aspects.
and i suppose it might be different if one was partnered up and child rearing,
but i feel like i'm floating/whirling through life without a settle point in view.
should i have some sort of settle point in view?
i'm moving to paris in about 18 months, once work dries up for me here in vancouver,
and it'll be about a year or two year stint.
(unless of course i meet the frenchy ooolala man of my dreams and stay and live there forever embracing socialism and cigarettes and cheap wine full time)
but then what?
i could keep going,
try sweden or norway next..
or come back to vancouver.
maybe get a degree in fashion. hmm.
do people settle anymore?
do single people settle anymore?
or do you go, go, go until you find someone to settle with?

i feel like i'm missing a key strain of thought here.
anyways.
this whole train of thinking just popped into my head and i happened to have my laptop on top of my lap.
thoughts?

i need a hug from a half sweet machiato.
i want desperately to work for garance dore. or scott schuman.
i want to buy the biggest tub of fraser meadow's vanilla yogurt. can you find it anywhere but donalds market? help.
i am thankful for the free morning of grocery storing and butcher shopping.
i want to wear red nail polish for the rest of my life.
i need to find a good seamstress who can copy some clothes for me. help?
i have a shit load of clothes to fold today. which coincides nicely with the episode of glee waiting to be watched.
i watched chris clean out his van while i waited for the red light at hastings and highway 1.
i just ate the dirtiest sandwich. i mean, sure, a ton of protein, but we're talking faaaattty proteins.

i'm figuring out make-up.
for the longest time, i sort of figured that make-up was this thing that helped you look prettier.
and i didn't how that worked, it never looked like me when it was on,
so all i was, was a big mess of confusion when it came to anything beyond benetint and mascara.

but i'm starting to get the idea now that make-up has the ability to add to your style.
to help you polish up the way you like to dress.
much like the manicures that i've in recent monthes become in love with.
and now can't live without.

take red lipstick.
it's been said that a great red lipstick is far superior to even a 1000 cocktail dresses.
either garance dore said it, or gwyneth paltrow.
so true!
and i've finally embraced it.
or rather,
finally overcome all my wierd vanity issues about doing anything so over the top bold.
and over all, pretty sweet.
i love wearing it.
out that is.
but i'm pretty close to wanting to wear it all day at work, too.
look out.
the times they are a changing.

went out to eat with courtenay last night
and because she knew the cooks,
and because cooks like to one up each other on how bizzare the free things will be,
they sent out cured horse meat.
it looked and kinda tasted like prociutto. only saltier.
and good lord we were this close to trying a beef tongue..something. nuts!

right now i'm getting my puff pastry on and whipping up some apple turnovers.
smells great.
i'm glad i went with the labour intensive recipe instead of the canned apple pie filling recipe.
seriously. canned apple pie filling?
says the girl who de thawing the frozen puff pastry!

took a day off this week and went down to seattle for the day,
which was great.
hats off to james moes for a fantastic breakfast reccomendation.
having left at 7.30 in the morning and arriving back in east van after 10,
twas a long day. a good day.

and now i'm sitting here at 2 in the afternoon,
a sore spot in my back,
and a complete free weekend ahead of me.
i am so sleeping in.
and eating at deacon's corner.
do you wanna come with me?

i'm infected.
i'm on the brutalist anti biotic.
i take it and then i'm chilly and flu-y for a couple of hours.
but at least one of them i take at night time when i can sleep through it.

i made some banana muffins
but the baking soda didn't really activate
so they taste bitter.

i'm considering going for a pedicure after work,
but i don't really want to because my feet are nowhere good right now.
you know how you feel you have to clean because the cleaner's coming,
ya same thing over here.

i'm on a hunt for some cream/beige coloured pleated cropped pants. in maybe a light wool.
in plus size?
am i dreaming?
i bought some black ones,
three sizes too big,
dominantly polyester,
but they work.
i 'm holding out for these khaki ones.

COFFEE.

hey.
wanna bawl your face off?
then go here.

olivia and i just got back from roundel cafe.
mmm second breakfast. elevensies. delish.

i'm happy to report that my boots are now offically broken in,
no more are band-aids required to toughen up my feet before putting them on.

trying to plan a 30th birthday event for my bestest.
its funny because we're bestests, but apart from ourselves, we have none of the same friends.
we definately have distinctive and separate groups with which we run.
a couple of times we've attemped the whole cross over, intergrate dealy, but it never takes.
we usually can't stand quite a few things about three or more of the group.
so we've essentially stopped trying.
so all that to say, throwing a party is out of the question.
who would i invite, why would i?
i'm thinking a trip down to seattle for the day.
i know there is a dirty little bistro she loves,
and some good shopping.
yep. yep.
just asked for the day off. its a gonna happen.
especially since my sister is outta town for two weeks for work, leaving me her car.
holy crap. done and done.


(i just overheard my boss refer to twitter as tweet. 'i don't understand how so many people spend so much time using tweet')

i'm going to go and invest in a cup of coffee right now.

garance just did a post on what her top ten wardrobe basics are.
the ten or so things you can make work with just about everything..and that seem to make everything else work. her post was great. you can go read it here. i agreed with most items.
but here are mine.

1. slim black jeans. i have finally embraced them. now i can't get enough.
2. shawl-ish v-neck cardigan. navy or black.
3. my new zeha berlin boots. (scroll down a bit for a glimpse)
4. a good blouse-y t-shirt.
5. trench coat.
6. ray bans.
7. a handful of well cut blouses
9. a good belt. thats big enough to sling over hips, but also small enough to tighten at waist. (hello mad men)
10. hermes scarf. you know the ugly/beautiful square scarves? maybe not hermes. ka-ching.

if you read this you HAVE to tell me yours. i'm so curious.

i'm stuck in 'no social skill' hell.
the boss has a friend visiting from out east,
who, in eagerness to hang out with the kids,
has followed us around for, well this is the forth day.
i'm going crazy shit crazy.

i feel like in the last week or so,
something has shifted,
and now i understand that
one can actually go after what they want.
for me it comes to, job wise,
what i could do, vs. what i want to do.
in knowing that there was an natural cross roads approaching,
i'd been pondering what jobs would be accessible to me, but also that i would find some fufillment in.
but all of the options that i came up with fell squarely under could do.

so i've been dreaming about the want to do's.
and i've come up with a few,
all with a healthy dose of risk and fear involved,
but man,
the idea of chasing your dream.

thats where the mind shift has come into play.
i never considered before the idea of chasing a dream.
the idea of chasing something i knew i really wanted, but somehow figured it unatainable.

and this shift,
this realization alone,
is thrilling.

opened up this page to write with the intent of telling you how great my birthday was.
but now all i want to tell you about is how i want to kill and dismember a certain four year old.
wow.
i am way past my level of tolerance here.
currently i can hear her not staying in her room and banging her heels against the stair in order for me to hear her and deal with that.
i can't. rather, i sure as hell won't.

uhg. totally one of those mornings.
and i'm pretty sure i can trace it right back to the place in the morning where i didn't have any breakfast. i mean my clif bar. poTATEo poTATo.
12 grams of protein goes a long ways in terms of getting you through a teusday morning with three kids who are on spring break.

birthday party. great.
we didn't actually end up making any tea. juuuust whiskey.
and a lot of food.
chris gave me the most insane gilt gold frame that just might be my favorite gift.
and now i just remembered that my grandma sent me a card for my birthday saying this:
"thank you for your note thanking me for the cheque i sent you at christmas. i never hear from my grandchildren. have a good birthday."
which made my laugh and then convinced me to sent a great letter thanking her for the birthday cheque. and maybe some news from her eldest grandchild. man. so funny.
anyways that card came a week ago.
i need to write that letter.

tootles!

its my birthday!
these are what i want to buy myself. pretty no?

tonight i'm having a (not so wee) whiskey tea party and i'm really excited about it.
lately i've picked up some pretty talented and incredible people to commune with, all the the last week or two,
and they're all coming! yay.
and man, along with those who've been around for a while, i'm feeling blessed, blessed, blessed.
my dearest friend court, prepared me five different kinds of tea sandwich makings, and an apple upside down cake, and some bouquets of spring flowers! whoa!
how loved am i?
and i don't have anything left to do for the party except assemble and buy whiskey. the fireball kind. mmmmm. courtenay also gave me a smidge of her own stash, including a half cup or so of this crazy expensive kind that smells so great.
tomorrow might be kind of rough.

oh and also,
please go and look at
mandy and shari-anne's little project.
it makes me smile.

www.topsyturvyproject.blogspot.com

they take a new pair of opposite words every week,
and each of them illustrate/ create their own vision of the two words colliding apart from the other,

then post them.
awesome.

working a wee bitty over time
waiting until the kiddies get picked up by grandma. thus far, 44 minutes en retard.
have to rush shopping tonight for a baby shower gift for a dear friend,
i'm fearful that the rush shopping will......

oh dear.
i started that on friday, and then walked away until now.
the shower was great.
i found some lovely charley harper (my favorite) cardboard abc/123 books,
and a onesie or two.

olivia and i are cuddled up on the couch about to read, for the zillionth time,
junie b jones and the yucky blucky fruitcake.

i'm very, very tired.
fell into bed about 2 am last night.
a friends show,
pizza,
cigarettes.
drunk people telling me i'm the most gorgeous thing they've ever seen.
"seriously, is there anyway you'd date me"
no. because my creep-o-meter is very sensitive. you've alerted it.
but it yanked me out of the wee pity party that for some reason i decided to throw for myself within the space of 20 minutes or so.

and speaking of party,
tea?
whiskey?

beautiful things i've seen from reading about fashion week thus far.
the first two dresses are monique lhullier and caroline herrara,
and the third is an image i lifted from the sartorialist that i remain gob smacked by. its so brilliant this look. my new, maybe? hmm we'll see.

things i found today.

poppytalk (check out their vancouver page..so helpful!)

la fondarie (my new church when i move to paris)

logis.com (helping me find my new apartment in paris)

i've been a busy little internet crawler today.

all of it having to do with my move to paris in a year or so.

there are more,

but these were the ones that got me excited.

the abberation to the theme was poppytalk..whoa!

its so good!

and canadian!

happy friday,

i'm going to sneak outside now and have a smoke.

lovejulie

i've been sick,
i've been broken into,
i've dragged a screaming four year old to school and back,
i've cried (which turned into chest racking phlegm coughs).

i've had beautiful conversations,
i've invested in baking as my catharsis,
i've had friends offer to grocery store run for me,
i've laughed (which turned into chest racking phlegm coughs).

today is the 91st anneversary of the boston molasses massacre.
(in the last week, i've typed the word molasses so many times, its ridiculous).
i could type out for you all the details,
but instead i'll just post the link for you to read up on yourself.
rather interesting and wholly ridiculous.

tonight chris and i are hosting a memorial to the event,
wherein we partake in all things molasses,
and moreover,
all things storytelling.
because in life there is nothing like a good story,
and this little molasses hiccup is a great story.

i'm making a pot of boston baked beans,
some gingersnaps,
and because of the crazy stormy weather calling for something delicious and hot,
buttered rum!
until this story, i don't think that i knew molasses was a by product of rum and whiskey.

the two kids are busy watercolor painting in the kitchen,
its fun to overhear them share their idea's,
their translations of what they've put down on paper.

my new 23 dollar trench coat is a fashion game changer.
so were the 500 dollar boots.

but the coat.
i've been a frequent reader of the sartorialist,
and he recently completed a campaign for burberry called "art of the trench"
gorgeous photos from all over the world of people
wearing the famous burberry trench coat, their way.
totally inspiring, and forcing the question to myself
"why the hell don't i have one?"

well it found me.
maybe not totally ideal,
in terms of quality and perfect fit,
but 23 dollars!
and once i put it on,
i felt it.
GAME CHANGER.

i have no idea what that actually means,
but i'm anticipating good things.