sitting at work
enjoying my coffee and still warm raspberry muffin
emma dog at my feet
listening to stars
waiting for the boys to stir.
today i am nothing but a player in a web of huge organization
for a few hours, and then its barb's turn
for today little sister is born.
welcome little addtion to my 9-5 life.

mmm i'm making my first cup of coffee with my new
brew and go. one cup of glory. just for me.
i can hear its rumblings
and smell its lovliness
just for me
just for me

i'm trying to make my life nice and clean
my heart nice and clean
my apartment nice and clean
my bedroom nice and clean

but i'm such a girl that is prone to messy
messy life
messy heart
messy apartment
messy bedroom

today was made up of moments.
where in each moment,
i stopped and thought
what a great little moment of life this is.
i folded laundry while watching the nutcracker ballet
i decorated christmas cookies
i ran into a lovely person at the library, hanging out with my boys
christmas dinner at church
dave and corrina and issac
bundled up on my couch watching tv

this weekend i have been bombarded by all things christmas.
mostly good.
no more carols though.
friday night was the annual sheena christmas bash.
i always feel slightly overwhemed when i go, because sheena just knows so many people.
but everytime, i end up having this rad conversation with someone or other that i havn't connected with in a while, or ever on any serious level. so ahoy to megan keopke. after being aquantices off and on for five years. i like you.

last night mosaic was lovely
then i drove home to chilliwack
went to this morning's service where it was
chrrriiissssstmas music, my.
then home for a nice little stephen and peter concert at the space
and some more christmas music
and lastly, from which i recently have returned
kenton's fete noel.
the best spiced wine i've ever had.

i'm sitting on my bed and i am quite eager to lie and immerse within its foamy, goosey, cotteny goodness.

today was good.
the light has shone and shown the approaching upwardness of my little path.

let the bones you have crushed rejoice

friday i am driving to seattle with my sister.
we are going to see david bazan and rosie thomas.
i am more excited about the former, and my sister, the latter.
it will be good.
also good because said former never brings any merchandise to canadian shows due to border/duty issues.
so...yay.

i started reading joan baez autobiography..its great.
i was reading it way to long into the night last night.

my three year old was so quirky and delightful today.
we sat for about an hour in the living room today and laughed at each other
eating dried mangoes and cranberries.
employment is so lovely.

i'm listening to the new(est) stars album,
and i can't stop.

this last weekend was a disaster,
with redeeming qualities.

saturday i got up decently early only to get stuck
in multiple traffic jams due to the grey cup.
i locked my keys in my car,
while parked in a permit parking only area.
it took five hours
43 dollars
and much humbling to get back into my girl with a car headspace.

sunday, on my way out for cheap sunday breakfast,
when three steps out my door,
realize i've locked my keys in my apartment.
it took nine hours,
a beautiful afternoon/evening with blair and candace
which including sigur, jane austen, ty pennington and tortilla chips
before i got back in at 9pm.

it left me with a sense of ..lost..
in my head, i feel like i've been somewhere these last weeks..
out of it..
and seeing the huge, in my face, manifestations of this lostness
makes me want to
sleep a long time
cling to jesus
write and write until i get somewhere

talk to celeste...

so much revelation about self today..tonight
in many different aspects of life
introspection is pride's worst enemy
there is so much stuff going on in my head
the pen becomes the dominant medium..
and oh it has.

my jeans are covered in projectile vomit
my body wants coffee coffee
and my heart wants the unknown.

my friend sandra is taking me to see pride and predjudice tonight.
i was supposed to go with crystal, but i'm being taken to a movie..can't say no..

whats your favorite kind of apple?
mine is spartan. its actually the only apple i even like.
all the others i have various issues with.
the worst being red delicious.

courtney and i just spent four hours of
skip bo and coffee down the street at the grind
watching buffy send angel to hell after he had regained his soul
secretly admiring kelly clarkson
listening to glosoli by sigur ros over and over
and now its two ay em
i'm starting to think about bed
i've gained tommorow off
and i will sleep in and dream

we talked about this idea for a photo essay, matt sandra lora and i.
the idea delving quite soundly into vulnerability:
there are three portraits of each person.
the first, dress yourself, pose yourself, however you see yourself
the second, dress yourself, pose yourself however you think others see you
the third, would be decided by the others. they would dress you and pose you, how they see you.

for the first i though i would wear soemthing confidently stylish, a good hat, a cup of jj bean, maybe a smoke, and i'd be walking down a mildly busy, tree lined street..aware, but not bothered. moving through life.
for the second, i was stumpled, because i wanted to make an outrageous face, in hilarity, but somehow juxtapose that with a girl thats hiding her face, but with a look of desperation. juxtaposed for the sake of showing that the hilarious face is so big because it has to make up for the great walls and guards that the real face has in place.
its weird to dwell on the idea that i am under the impression people see through me..

well
after a decently significant hiatus'
i am returned
this little guy that sits with me wherever i go
is a true gem

right now in life, i am amidst a switch back in my working life
my usual gig has flown to florida for a few weeks
so i'm driving into the heart of the city a few days a week for a temporary lisason
i am excited to get back to the normal grind, however.

last night was sandwhich fest 2005.

in a little bit i will head over to mosaic for some community

i recently discovered edemame. OH MAN.

i've recently started to watch my way through buffy the vampire slayer. i'm on season 2.
"ours is a forbidden love.."

i'm taking a part time gig in the near future to do some music management/promotion with some friends.

writing the word edemame has made me want some.

friggin dave johnson.
a shout out.

so the home computer as given its final days i think.
i`m not sure if what will happen in following days.
man i want a lap top..
man i want all the files back from my old one..
i`m currently playing matchmaker.
i`ll keep you posted how it goes.
oh, and i will let everyone know
that i am now an official
hat person.

i don't think i've yet commented on the brevity of sigur ros last week.
i don't really have the words..
only that it moved every fibre of me.
i ran into some good people.
it was
the best show of life.

this is an ode to my freind courtenay.
she is a chef.
she is one of my dearest friends and accompaniment to life.
tonight i took her out for supper,
and then she took me out for dessert.
i have just come away from her house with the following books
kitchen confidential, anthony bourdain
vagina monologues, eve ensler
my year of meats, ruth ozeki
stanley park, timothy taylor
the god of small things, arundhati roy

to courtenay, who doesn't have a computer,
i totally love you. you are one of the most freeing, non judgmental person i've ever known.
and i've begun to understand vulnerability because of it..of you.

i just got home from my home group..
and as it started i was so irritated and agitated to the point of totall anxiety.
so i said, coffee? i will get some.
and it was a little better.
and as our tiny community talked and shared
and ran away with each others tangents,
as only we can do,
i was whelmed with the sense of community, in that,
what i share gives voice to something lisa is going through.
or what stephen shares gives voice to i couldn't find to express where i am..
its this unbelievable medium for relief and peace and comfort..
to talk and walk through each others lives/weeks and identify..
s'good. s'wonderful.

ok gang, in lieu of posting all the pictures here,
i've created a little vault of indulgence for your viewing.
the link is for the best of the east trip.
one day when i humble myself i will post the ones i deem crappier.

i'm HOME!
the french has not left my brain yet
i'm still speaking haltingly and my first instincts are to use my feeble french.
but i'm home.
in my house.
some pictures now follow,
just some from ben's camera.
mine to follow with the next 48 hours. and you will see how magnificent was the east.
love julie

. 

ecclisiax church in ottawa. the gallery. 

locks!! julie et mrs lussier-hoskyn 

julie et sarah sur la pont alexandra (on le danse, on le danse) 

hey, do you want to help me solve blue's clues?
you do? great!
so along the same lines of children's entertainment,
i'm very relieved to have found out, that steve, from blues clues, has not committed suicide..or anything like that.
my sister told me this rumor, and i could not bring myself to believe it, not even a little bit.
so i did some internetal research,
and lo and behold,
he's a fuckin rock star.
go steve.
still sexy as ever.