lord have mercy!
its been too long.

and now i sit here stumped over what to say.
whats wrong with my mind?
can i think of nothing to ponder over in eloquent vocabulary as to entice you into thinking i'm the lovliest girl alive?

i'm reading pride and predjudice again.
i'm so caught up in the halting, unsure manner in which both elizabeth and darcy dance around, and into, their affections.
today on the bus i read the passage where in elizabeth ponders over her pride for darcy
in regards to his particpation in the lydia/wickam marriage,
and elizabeth realizing the true nature of her own feelings.

i'm in love with that idea: falling in love outside of the common practice of
1. meeting
2. dating.
that love should come from an accumulation of character & personality facets,
and the interacting and conversing within those,
as opposed to knowledge gained within a created bias,
based on swoony gazes.

and on closer examination of myself,
i fully realize
how apart from that reality
i tend to operate.
exceptions of course,
but i'm all for the swoony bias'.
they're fun.
and they're good at running their course.

but oh, give me that sure, undeniable knowledge and assurance,
which births
elizabeth's love for darcy.