today i got my very first bunch of flowers.
i've never gotten flowers before.
i was so happy i walked around all night like a beauty pagent person.
a girl in my gr12 care group brought them for me..
the one that i thought i didn't know how to handle (she is very hormonal).
so it got to me. very aware of the presence of god.
its quite humbling.

i sit i sit.
i cut up a pair of socks so that you can't see them when i wear certain shoes.
but i have to wear socks cause my feet get entirly too moist.
it was a sacrifice.
them socks bore it well. an honorable death.
i watched a movie about southern women who drink. yaya.
then i talked to katie about the genius of empire records.
and store bought icing. "now's your chance.. RUN RUN!!"
my names not f'n warren.

stepping back is the only route to clarity.
and clarity is the key.

there are not a whole lot of things that are better than finding leftover turkey in the refridgerator
i gobble gobble it up.

the lord your god is with you,
he is mighty to save.
he will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing.
zeph.3.17

today i went down to bellingham.
as i drove though the border heading south,
i honestly feared a cavity search if i had breathed incorrectly.
they opened doors, asked me ran.dom questions, glared some.
they had trouble closing my back hatch.
its tricky.
suckers.
i'm guessing it has something to do with orange alert.
maybe they thought my polaroid had bomb stuff in it.
but then canada border killed me too..
'uh that'll be $800 in duty please'.
all for the successful quest of finding a fabulous pair of black pants.

i had these great plans to be in bed by 10 since i have to be up at 730.
but then i remember that i have zero clean laundry.
so tommorow would have been skirt day, except my legs arn't in top hairless form.
so i'm waiting for the 2nd load to be done in the washer and then i can throw it in the dryer and be done.
and i really don't like fake people.
i tend to/ always harden myself towards them.
its not very loving of me, i admit.
but boy they frusterate me.
ah look at me on my pedestal. geeet off.

well i was reading some stuff tonight.
and i kept thinking about the humanity of jesus.
he was fully human.
when we go through trials and such,
our god is not a god, who from the mountain top ahead of us, is saying
"come on, i know you can make it- think of how great its going to be
when you get through and make it up here"
we have a god, who step for step has experienced exactly what we feel
and says
"i know baby, i know. keep talking, cause i relate..."

she never sealed the cracks
she was so full of cracks
but i'll never look back....
but she finally crumbled from those cracks.

and in my selfish hand, I held the mortar.

i like driving at night. possibly my favorite time to drive.
but not when there is a so much traffic.
so many freaking bright lights coming at you,
in your review mirror, side mirror. all so bright and flashy.
it drives me banana's.
flashy flash, flashy flash.