Wednesday, December 21, 2011

there once was a girl who contemplated thankfulness.
how easy it is to gurgle forth feelings of thankfulness,
when one's expectations have been met.
this girl had a thoroughly full bowl of reasons
to be thankful that holiday season.
but she wondered about the times
when it didn't seem like things were so full.
was it more about managing her expectations?
or was it about digging beyond the met/not met-ness of her ideals?
she was sure it was probably the latter of the two,
but as she sat there thinking about it,
hot coffee in hand, cozy pj's still on (at 1pm),
a train to bavaria a few hours later,
she found it hard to think past the fullness of now.
she was content.
and thankful.
and mindful to carry these thoughts along with her
for some other time that didn't seem so rosy.

Sunday, December 11, 2011

there once was a girl who liked,
but never truly loved, granola.
poor granola, this girl strung him along for years.

then one day this horrible girl got drunk,
and slept with granola's brother meusli.
and never talked to granola again.

Thursday, November 17, 2011

some more good things.

out of the 20 plus soy latte's i've had here in paris this fall,
only like two of them have been shitty.
and every other one was spectacular.
do you know how weird that is??
in all of vancouver,
there was only one place where i knew for a fact
that my soy latte would be killer,
which was the laughing bean at hastings and..slocan??
(kaslo? yikes i'm starting to forget things).
the starbucks barista's here are impeccably trained.
i'm so, so amazed.

anyhoo the greatness of the soy latte
is derailing the whole 'green tea in the afternoon' thing.

ticket to germany for christmas!!
i'll be heading to ansbach, in the south of germany,
home the wonderful Spaeth's.



ms. christina spaeth is a dear friend living here in paris,
and has most graciously invited me to stay for the holidays.

gotta say, living abroad, i'm two for two
with unbelievable hosting generosity.
WHAT UP LONDON ENNS'??

this recipe.
will become you're go to chocolate chip cookie recipe.
with the sea salt sprinkled on top,
and no leavening agent,
its this dense, soft, sweet and salty cookie.
YES.

paid 6 euros ranch dressing
on a whim at the american grocery boutique.
soooooo worth every centime.

Sunday, November 06, 2011

some good things.

simon woke up from his coma. and is doing really great.
his heart stopped randomly a couple days ago while playing basketball,
and it was pretty sketchy for a bit.
"wake UP simon" was my prayer for three days straight.

slowly learning more and appreciating more about cheese
through the tutiledge of the favre-bonvin's.
dinner at their place always ends with an insane assortment of cheeses,
which i get walked through, and have fun trying.

also, via the lovely F-B's, a french grandma jam hook up!! YAA!! FRAMBOISE!!!

yoga.
started last week, and am loving it.
yesterday i got my ass handed to me by a 60 year old teacher.

sunday morning pastries runs are usually a bust,
because the good bakery is closed on sunday's.
but this morning, the mediocre bakery knocked it outta the park yo!

last week was a three day work week,
and this week is a four day week!

two new tv shows. homeland with major winters (sighhhhh) and claire danes. and once upon a time, which is superb, and written by the same folks who brought you lost.

beastie boys.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

walking out of my house this morning,
i felt like i was about to snap.
but at the same time, i could see myself in this rageful place
and was like
yo. why are you so angry? chill out, there are no reasons here.
it was a weird sensation.
i mean, it's true,
tiny shitty things kinda kept happening,
but i'm pretty good at taking things in stride.
so, it's like the core of me was taking things in stride,
but this outer emotional layer that i couldn't seem to control
was a total bee-otch.
and all i could do was watch with bemusement.
and then, AND THEN,
my coffee was soooo watery, i'm pretty sure they brewed the pot without changing the filter/grinds.
that's when i developed the twitch.

Saturday, September 10, 2011

yesterday was saturday and i woke up at 6:30am.
then i continued to flop around and doze until 7:30
at which time i hauled my arse outta bed and down to the bakery,
because i was like,
sweet! there is NO WAY they can be sol out of almond croissants this early!
(have i told you of my on going saturday morning saga
of perpeturally sold out almond croissants?
one time i got one with jon anderson
as i walked him to the train station at 9am,
but there was only ONE LEFT, good thing he's a celiac).
anyhoo, wtf they weren't even baked yet.
so apparently there is like a half hour window somewhere. I WILL FIND IT.
so i settled for pain au chocolat
(hahhahaha you like that north americans?? i SETTLED for pain au chocolat)

came back and made coffee,
whipped out two loads of laundry,
a sink of dishes,
cleaned my room,
and sat for 20 mintues trying to figure out where the hell the batteries go on my super 8 camera. anyone? a zenga somewhere?
then my roomate woke up around 11, we chitty chatted, he left for work
and i putzed around for a couple more hours.

then made myself go and get some sunshine.
which was beneficial because:
i do think i found this winters coat. COS knocks it outta the park again.
i experienced what gelato tastes like when they put it on the cone in flower formation (faaaaar superior to ball formation).

then i made a huuuuuge salad for dinner
(sandra salad: one fruit, one veg, one seed/nut, one cheese, leaves, and oil/vinager/sometimes maple syrup)
then i watched bones and went to sleep.

now of course i'm awake too many hours before church starts,
which is giving me plenty of time to decide what to wear,
and which songs bertrand and i will tackle for translation.
oh because litte french church worship revolution is a comin. WATCH OUT.

but first, coffee, coffee, coffee.

Thursday, September 08, 2011

reasons why jetlag sucks:

hungry all the time.
like, just finished breakfast, sitting at computer with coffee,
and thinking MUST HAVE SOMETHING SWEET RIGHT NOW.

smoking doesn't feel good.

have to pee all night long. wtf? why?

awake at 4am. tried to go back to sleep until 6am, but ended up having some wierd, not really asleep nightmare about zombies.

there is not enough coffee in my vicinity to satiate things.

my hair cannot be bothered to look presentable.

can't finish reading the giving tree to child without breaking down in tears.

Tuesday, July 26, 2011

a post of lists (will add more today..i've forgotten some)

i am loving right now:

- chanel #19 red liptick. the perfect red lipstick
- my kinda masculine navy blue ballerines
- cheap fruit through the city
- the date august 26th
- tacos at candalaria. all the time, anytime.
- the movie 'submarine'. fantastic!
- where the plot is going reading 'game of thrones' AIYA! i went to bed with a racing heart last night
- my wax ear plugs. if you need to wear them, i cannot recommend wax enough. brilliant.


yesterday i saw:

- an ad for an app that lets you know where the closest shop is that sells cigarettes.
- an old man on a bike smoking his pipe

not loving right now:

- the weather
- above new shoes wreaking havoc on my feet. tis the summer of breaking in shoes.
- tourist season
- needing to wear said wax earplugs at night. SOOO LOUUUDDD. windows open, summer, you know.

things i am unsure about:


- this haircut

things i can't wait to eat in vancouver:

- pulled pork @ the whip
- nachos and beer @ foundation
- breakfast @ deacons corner
- breakfast @ slickety jims
- breakfast @ the odegards (and by breakfast i mean kenton's benny's)
- sandwhich @ meat and bread
- tacos @ the weird small place on victoria
- coffee @ JJ
- coffee @ JJ

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

i posted a couple weeks ago the carl jung quote,
about being able to communicate the important stuff abates lonliness.

and that's totally true.

but i had friends this weekend of such caliber
and familiarity and similarities,
that made me think
ok yes, thats true,
but there is more.

what's important?
i have a tough time sorting and wading through my heart and head
getting it onto paper,
getting it able to say to another.
so a lot of stuff gets jumbled and forgotten
and can stay dormant until the next time i sit to sort and wade, maybe.

but these friends,
and these conversations,
and these laughters,
while giving me a very full weekend,
(and by that i mean a full heart),
also gave me back that yearning for ongoing dialogue and communion
where
through its ongoing-ness
and its non-intentional-ness
naturally creates and cultivates.
helps to sift through priorities and values.

and having it handed to me on silver platters this weekend
put a spotlight on the 10 month lack thereof.
and realized that while the ability to communicate the important stuff is vital,
and is firmly in place,
the relationships that are there to sift/sort by conversing/laughing/communing,
are not.

i'll let you know how this turns out.

Sunday, July 10, 2011

ya so
met a boy in a taquiera the other day.
from oregon, living in london.
he gave me his card.
just sent him a wee email saying nice to meet you
and thanks for coffee tip.
(i'll always take coffee tips from portlanders)

he has the same last name as some musicians from vancouver,
so i attached a little youtube song to the end of the email.
a song that i've been loving and listening to for the last while or so.

i just went back and really listened to it on a hunch,
and sure enough,
the song is pretty much going to come across as a booty call.
"we are lonely people in this lonely town....
you've got some skin, and i've got some time..."

gaaaaahhhhhh.
and
craaaaaaaaappp.

Friday, July 08, 2011

there have some teary moments of late.
some good and cleansing,
some encountering humanity and beauty,
and some of pure heart caught in throat-ness,
like this

"hi julie, i really miss you.
i’m wondering when you’re going to come back. '
i’m having dreams about you, when you’re coming here.
when can we skype? that’s all..."

a wee email from olivia this afternoon.
i'm a bit of a river right now.

Sunday, June 26, 2011

recently.

-its supposed to be 34 degree's today. it seems like everyone on the metro this morning was quite well aware of this fact. except for the woman who walked on in a caftan and leather pants. it seemed like the entire train looked at her in disbelief, and then kinda at each other. girllll, you gonna CHAFE.

- riding the metro yesterday, a mother with her two teenage daughters that were mildly loud and cheerful, which is to say they drew notice. at one point the mother reaches over and taps her daughters shoulders to remind her of her posture. and i kid you not, i saw about seven other people (including me!) straighten up and fix their own posture. ah mothering. we all need it.

- yesterday after church, a few of us got invited over to mama motoko's for lunch. she whipped up the craaaaaaaziest delicious japanese lunch. i almost died. sushi/sashimi/tempura/a salad i don't know the name of (with seaweed noodles..delish)/terryaki chicken...well done mama motoko.

- lost my metro card on the train yesterday, realized it right away, and was bummed, because knowing i wasn't likely to get it back, it would take some fandangeling budget wise to replace it (i had just bought july's tarif the day before, plus the cost of replacing the actual card. grr). bummed through the early evening, my friend joanne and i boarded the metro in Issy and randomly asked the clerk there if he'd heard of any card being picked up and handed in. he was like, "sorry. chat chat chat, there is nothing i can do, chat chat chat, the only thing i can do is show you that i have this card right here. and with a smirk he pulls out MY CARD!! he knew the whole time we were inquiring (beacause it has my photo on it). and i was so suprised i yelled "C'EST MOI! C'EST LA MIEN!" and thats the story of how i got my card back and didn't have to pay about 75 euros to replace it. i mean really, of all the stations on that line 12 that some gentle soul handed my card into the clerk, after finding it on the train...was the same station that we thought to ask at?? miraculous.

- yesterday i spent from 9am until 10 am out and about with people. church in the morning, mama motoko's in the afternoon, and then a special service at night. it was the first time i realized that speaking french all day and trying to understand and concentrate all day is very, very exausting. my mind hurt. :) but thats ok. it will get better.

- now i'm going to go and make eggs in a basket for breakfast...again. with avocado's...again. i've been responding to my body's weirdly insistant cravings lately...last week red meat. last four days or so, avocado's...the last month has been weird. i think my body is depleted...or something. banana's, green tea, eggs...all these things keep creeping up as major cravings..hmm.

Friday, June 24, 2011

totally not alone.

"Loneliness does not come from being alone,
but from being unable to communicate the things that seem important."

Carl Jung

Sunday, June 12, 2011

there are many, many things about france that i love, and will have a hard time leaving behind one day. but today i'm having a bit of a mopey nostalgia for some uniquely north american 'givens'.

clothes dryers.
bathtubs.
customer service.
worship music written after the 90's.
things being open on sundays.
16 oz of coffee wherever and whenever you want it.
(i had a thought today that made me laugh. in vacnouver in would feel ashamed for drinking starbucks because there was no need to. in france i'm ashamed because i need to.)

well, those are the big ones. lets not call it complaining, because i shudder to think of being one of those north americans..
but at some point in the last couple days, each one of these things has encouraged a little wistfulness.
now i'm going to have some superior bread and cheese.

Saturday, June 04, 2011

(heading to berlin at the end of the month.
robin sends me an email detailing some vegetable e-coli breakouts in germany)

julie: guess we can really only have sausage and beer then. shit.
robin: a girls got to do, what a girls got to do.

Monday, May 30, 2011

i feel like i lived my whole weekend in barcelona in one line thoughts.

arrived crazy late to festival friday night, tickets all sold out, i sit and sleep under a tree until 6 am and ross finds me.

we get to donnie's place, but can't get a hold of him, so thankfully an older couple comes out at 7 am, and we are able to enter building and sleep on roof.

i slept on a garden roof at 7am in barcelona with stolen bed linens off the laundry line.
seriously! the view!!! the warmth!
donnie finds us at 11.

back to bed until 6pm.
head to festival just in time to hear fleet foxes, having sadly slept through tallest man.

ate the most delicious hotdog on the planet. x2. wish i had another.

go over and watch the barca/manchester game. no contest really. barca easily takes it.
a total rush standing in such a huge crowd excitedly singing the national anthem.

pj harvy. solid.

around now i start drinking.
what am i, 20? fanta and vodka.

mogwai. a nice discovery. with no real vocals, i take it in deep. spirit.

3am. animal collective. WHOA.

a battle of wills ensues between those who wish to head home, and those who wish to get drunker and stay. the outcome, while maddening, was not shocking.

we arrive home at 7am.

sleep until one pm,
we head out to lunch with donnie and crew..

WHAT?? all you can eat, sushi, chinese, bbq/grill, fruit, ice creams...
totally not trashy..sooooo legit, for only 14 euros.

chinese people running a sushi place in barcelona does not easy communication make.

5pm, head to the airport!
barcelona transit, you are a dream!
and the airport! once you get through security, there is this amazing courtyard to chill out in until your flight. for me, this means, a smoke! yipee!

all in all,
i had a great weekend,
but my 30 year old body was not totally thrilled with the 20 year old type antics.

Saturday, May 07, 2011

happy post.
feeling gushy about the little produce store on my street.
run by two chinese girls,
they consistently have the most astoundingly fresh,
undamaged selection of fruits and veggies
at totally great prices.
i'm there every two days to stock up. seriously.
i've eaten muesli, yogurt and berries,
every night for the last 10 nights or so.
with the gorgeous weather,
i don't want anything hot, heavy or that i have to make.
assembly, i can do!
and while i'm here,
the yogurt..OH the yogurt.
nestle's la laiterie makes a vanilla one
in little glass pots to DIE for.
so much stuff comes in glass. its nuts.
i know a bunch of people who save the mustard containers as drinking glasses.
they're kinda pretty.

ALSO
and this is pretty big
for those of you who have known me for a while
the gap has finally been replaced as my go to store.
CAN YOU BELIEVE IT??
its replacement is
COS.
i find it very unlikely that i'll be able to live in a city
in the future
that does not have a COS.
just bought a pair of super cute sandles that will see me through for a while.
also a dress a little while back.
love.

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

i know i havn't written in over three weeks, nearly four (oh my goodness)
and that a short little entry isn't what you deserve,
but alas, just a quickie to tell you that yesterday was a really good day.

1. rode my bike to work (got lost twice)

2. because of bike, was able to stop at starbucks
and buy massive morning coffee (oh how i've MISSED YOU!!!)

3. dinner invitation for friday night at annie and thierry's

4. read a great quote that inspired from garance dore:
"..that there are career choices way off the beaten path, and that’s it’s the passion you put in it that makes it glamorous…"

5. met a really hot japanese manny at the kids gymnastic class.

6. slipped and fell on an oily cross walk and black and blue'd my knee REALLY GOOD.

Thursday, March 31, 2011

listening to patty griffin's nobody's cryin'.
"still have this secret hope
sometimes all I do is cope"..

thinking so much about hope lately.
words and phrases keep coming
across my path that completely resonate.
maybe its a season for hope.
maybe its the actual season of spring, bringing hope..
"i am not an optimist, but merely a prisoner of hope"
which is true
because i'm not totally optimistic
that love will come
or that career happiness will soon find me.
but even in this feeling of weariness,
hope remains.
and i can't escape it.
no matter how i run, i am this prisoner to a hope..
a hope for joy, a hope for.. fulfillment.
and i struggled with writing that,
struggled to acknowledge i'm yearning
for fulfillment brought on by love and job stuff.
the nagging-ness of this place in me,
thoroughly ingrained in me over thirty years,
to acknowledge jesus as the sole provided of that stuff.
but the the yearning for it,
the belief in it totally remains.
and i can't escape that either.

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

spring is totally in the air.
thank god.
being underneath these clear skies a couple times a day
is starting to show how essential it is for the lonely soul.

i think my friend count may be up to two now.
hurrah!

spent this last weekend in north england,
having an incomparable visit,
with the incomparable robin cicanski.
the weekend started out rough,
rushing rushing from work,
only to miss my flight,
somehow unable to connect to robin's phone number..
sweaty, frenzied, stressed out to the nines..
calling canada to try and get through to robin in england..
finally manage it with the power of
a few stellar, there when you need them friends.
pay the extra 50 euros to fly out the next day.
plop down to eat a hamburger in the airport macdonalds,
only to be moved to tears with
a telephone conversation surrounding
that days henri nouwens lent readings
that seemed to imbibe and penetrate my soul
and thus washing the stress and frenzy,
and leaving in its wake,
at least a little hope.
it felt silly.
there in the macdonalds at charles de gaulle airport.
but i was met.

i also felt met there in england.
there is surely none so great a host as ms. cicanski.
i was bowled over the entire time
by the thoughfulness that existed there.
i don't know how, in my life,
i've found all these givers to be friends with me
but i am fully aware of
the graciousness and greatfulness required of me,
and its there.
its surely there.
i'm lucky.
i'm far away.
but i'm lucky.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

french strawberries.
heard about 'em.
heard they were the best..
whatevs.
in this day and age,
where everything is shipped here and there and anywhere,
where you can get any produce you want at any time of year
(and cheaply)
i subconciously assumed that i'd,
somewhere along my journey,
had at least a couple of the best strawberries in the world.
i fucking kid you not,
i had not.
i do think that they only exist in france!
they are the sweetest, softest,
melt in your mouth strawberry
i've ever, ever had.
so delicate that,
you know,
i don't think they attempt shipping them.
although it could be too,
the french just decided to keep them to themselves.
i don't doubt it.
but isn't kind of nice to know
in this day and age
that there is still something that you can't get
whenever, wherever you want?
that there exists in the world,
something that you'd have to go to get,
and won't come to you.
and more over, that its totally worth it.

Monday, March 14, 2011

it's funny how ten days can get away from you.
in some ways i apologize, in others i'm apathetic.
i've actually started an ongoing email from myself that has thoughts started,
but not fully thought through, or reflected on,
but in the end would probably make for good posting.

today is a monday of mondays.
as in "someone has a case of the mondays".
what was to be a weekend of finally making it out to ikea,
meeting up with a new person friend i met..
became the weekend in which
i did not leave her bed for 36 hours
except to puke.

oi.
so back at work after a delightful weekend.
i can be thankful, however, that a trip over to the uk
was postponed from this last weekend until the next.
how much would that have sucked to have shown up puking on your friends doorstep.

monday means bible study day,
which means gotta get a weeks worth of homework done today.
yep homework.
i go to this fandangled american bible study that gives out homework.
i went to my first one last week,
and had the following thoughts
(excerpted from an eamil to a friend):

"...i'm frustrated because of where my faith is,
and having the faith and beliefs of this church held up to me,
assuming to be my guidepost, for me.
its like my faith, its between my father and me,
my love and me,
the holy spirit and me.
living in vancouver/being at mosaic has shown me what community is,
and how it's intrinsically apart of faith..
but the community/church is like a love foundation in which to express,
and crawl deeper..you know?
and here it feels so suppressing and offensive...
its like they are not trusting me with my faith. trusting god with me"

but i've always know that one of my biggest vices has been to throw the baby out with the bathwater. i hear or read something that goes against what i know, and i'm out. i tune out. i have a hard time gleaning any goodness from the thing otherwise.
(i also know that the virtue of it is discernment..which i know is so good, and is a gift...but ya, i can take it too far for sure)

so i'm giving more shots. did my homework today.
the home work frustrated me.
i rebelled by reading all the required reading
in the message translation (HAHAHAHHAHAHA).
and then i just left some of the questions blank.

so we'll see.
see if the bathwater can be tossed but keeping the baby.

also, about this monday.
my work slippers royally stink.
i hate it when i have to buy replacement things.
slippers, contacts, deodorant..bah.

Friday, March 04, 2011

hi.
now i'm 30.

yesterday started out a little rough,
mostly in the longing for my people category.
there may have been a lot of tears.

then the baby wouldn't sleep,
so i fed him a little earlier than usual,
and off we went.
wandered the musee d'orsay for a while
ate lunch on a sunny terrace
had a glass of wine with lunch
AND dessert. tarte au pomme.
and i looked really cute while doing it.
grey knit dress, braided belt, little blue and orange scarf,
navy tights and good sunglasses. cute.

then i went home and had take away pizza and a glass of whiskey
and called it a night.
oh and i read time magazine.

there are probably deeper, more of the heart thoughts surrounding this,
but i'm a little emotionally hung over from yesterday morning.
after all,
i went to bed with a few tears the eve of my birthday,
missing my people,
and woke up laughing to
'everything i do i do it for you'
playing on the radio.
i feel in this instance that god used bryan adams for good.
for the good of seeing how buoyed my heart became.
through tears of course.
its not every day god shares with you via bryan adams.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011

you konw i ran out of jj bean sometime last week,
but this store bought run of the mill bag of lava azza ain't doing too badly.
i'm quite enjoying it really.
its a good thing about paris really,
all the run of the mill stuff that you buy at the grocery store
even the store brand stuff
is pretty spectacular.
and probably has a ton less ingrediants than the north american store brand equivilant.

OOOO and, when i got my hair cut a couple weeks ago,
sarah (amazing wonderful go see her now)

used this new hair chalk stuff that i couldn't believe.
a couple shakes and my hair had so much texture and hold.
but i didn't buy a canister from her cause it was 20 bucks and i was closing in on being broke after that nutso seattle trip.
but guess what the fuck??
paris grocery store. thats what the fuck.
cheapo five euro bottle, same shit. same results. BOOYA. love paris.

i've decided that
since i don't have friends really here,
(just a few random aquaintinces who in no way are filling me up like you folks),
i am thus not expending a ton of money going out.
so
my new friends are going to be really expensive things.
i'm never going to be at this stage in life again,
being abroad, having expendible income without being freaked out about the future (yet...)
i'm going to buy expensive things.
bags. shoes. coats.
for the shoe portion of the expenditure, i'm heading over to berlin in june.
wanna come?

rumor has it jonny a is coming to town!!!! only for one night, but...YA!


edit: probably should have given this post a nice little edit before posting..HOLY MOLY. my appologies. eh.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

here i am. home again.
into my second day back at work..
even though i've had had solid 10+ hour sleeps..my body still feels totally wrecked.
i don't get you jetlag.

a wonderful week.
i found it interesting though, that after being back for a couple of hours,
the magic was gone.
the reality of home had been dressed up and made so fancy by anticipation,
but once actually being back, was like,
oh ya, home. same old same old.
which isn't to say that it wasn't exactly what this heart needed.

celebrating my 30th was perfect.
perhaps a little less intimate than foretold,
but memorable, amazing, and had me walking away awashed in love.
seriously,
if one thing can be said of my wee trip home,
was that i felt loved so so undeniably, so clearly and strongly.

after,
sitting on the plane for nine hours, with a lot of unable to sleep time,
i was thinking of different things from the week.
i felt like so much stuff had happened, both to me and around me,
but only so much was able to be processed and expressed.
even court, whom i was staying with, would ask me about the day..and only certain things would come up, only certain things i would think to mention.

some of the remaining came to thought sitting there on the plane,
why so and so didn't seem as happy to see me as i was them,
regret in not flitting about more at my party, talking to a wider range of people,
and many other smaller/complicated/seemingly insignificant/larger/simple happenings that i didn't think to process in the moment, but having been registered, got stored away somewhere. and now having thought them through, some of them are way more important to me than the others that were immediate.
and all of that made me think how the whole thing works.
whats the filter, or whatever, on what gets dwelt on in the immediate, and what gets brushed aside for later, or maybe never, should i not take the time to think.
this is totally bothering me.
is it something i can become better at?
is it even a flaw?
maybe i just noticed it because there was such an abundance of events and experiences that week.
dunno.

stump town.
speaking of which, stumptown, i'm kicking myself for not picking up another pound of JJ grinds.
i have two lists in my head:
things that are important to me while in paris
things that are important to me while in vancouver.
and i have to be careful to not invalidate any of the items on either list while in the opposing city. talk about a recipe for regret.

ok. love love.

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

hey guess what, turns out those last ones are half off at lark.
guess who already sent an email asking them to hold to a size 39 till sunday?
tho i still do love, love the first ones,
i feel like buying black shoes FOR spring isn't right. maybe for fall.

three more sleeps yo.

Tuesday, February 08, 2011

in high search of some brogues. oxfords.
basically a non boot version of my zehas.
and not to jazz shoe-y. eugh.
for your consideration.





Monday, January 31, 2011

and here is a post that's been sitting in my head since saturday.
i call it,
i love soup.

the first time that i really remember falling in love
with the idea of soup and bread, as a meal, was in switzerland.
in grade 12, we went over
for a two week jaunt through a couple countries,
and stayed at this little place in lucerne
(???..anybody remember? i'm lookin at you trish).
i don't even remember the meal at all,
just that they served soup before the meal,
with a basket of bread, and i went nuts. NUTS.
its all i wanted to eat. it was a revelation.

fast forward 12 years (HOLY SHIT),
to this lady living in paris,
often finding herself short of a little cash now and then.
whats a girl to do
but make a large pot of soup on sunday
and thus sustaining herself throughout the week
for mere centimes a bowl.

i'd done this in the past, when living in vancouver,
more out of a idealistic, look at me,
making a large pot of soup, kinda way.
it rarely moved out of the chicken/beef stock,
celery, potatoes, carrots, barley/noodles.
i usually froze 2/3 of it,
and i can't even tell you how much old,
freezer burned, homemade stuff
i threw out that last week in september.

BUT.
then i tried this recipe.
and hold lord have mercy baby jesus
if it isn't the most beautiful, gorgeous soup i know.
i made it again yesterday for this week,
and i think its the third week i've done this.
same soup! every day! not sick of it!
probably cause its not healthy.
although hearty, rich and warming.
i rarely eat more than one bowl,
before being really full and done with its richness.
a perfect blend, not to thick, not so runny..
perfect for mopping with baguette.

alor, et voila, ma potage prefere.
(the only thing to keep in mind
is that you have to bake your potatoes in advance.
well worth it.
and i kept the skins on. vitamins, you know)

BAKED POTATOE SOUP

3 bacon strips, diced
1 small onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, minced
3 tablespoons all-purpose flour
1 teaspoon salt
1 teaspoon dried basil
1/2 teaspoon pepper
3 cups chicken broth
2 large baked potatoes, peeled and cubed
1 cup half-and-half cream
1/2 teaspoon hot pepper sauce
Shredded Cheddar cheese

In a large saucepan, cook bacon until crisp.
Drain, reserving 1 tablespoon drippings.
Set bacon aside. Saute onion and garlic in the drippings until tender.
Stir in flour, salt, basil and pepper; mix well.
Gradually add broth. Bring to boil; boil and stir for 2 minutes.
Add the potatoes, cream and hot pepper sauce;
heat through but do not boil.
Garnish with bacon, cheese.
well, tis the monday.
just sitting down to type after aiding the poor babe to sleep.
waaaay more fussy in his bed than normal (normal is almost no fuss)...
turns out little dude had a belly full o gas.
almost as soon as i picked him up..RELEASE.
and now he sleeps soundly.

brunch with tom and mandy was so lovely.
they make a wonderful little newlywed couple.
it was good, just for the morning, to be free from effort.
effort to communicate, effort to express..
instead to just make some good scones, some good coffee, some potatoes and eggs...and just relax. wonderful.
ma coeur est pleine.

just about ready to leave broke-town.
this here is the beginning of the last of three weeks.
hurrah!
i would do it all over again however,
since i camped out here in order to take the little week holiday.
so in that regard, broke town rules.
its just in leaving, what sort of self control will befall me?
i'm having visions of new bags and shoes...

Friday, January 28, 2011

hurrah hurrah
tom and mandy are in town
and are coming over for breakfast tomorrow.
you know what that means.

...
..
...

those scones.
(happy shiver)


">



this is the only decent photo i could find of tom and mandy.
and its not really even that decent.
i mean, mandy has good grounds here to smack me upside the head.
but they just got married on sunday!
they are here for 'leur vacance de noce'.

Friday, January 21, 2011

new post. new post. new post.
a direct response to aimee and her faithful, loving comments.
so three weeks tomorrow morning i'll be a coming home.
and what a week to be coming home to,
i feel like i've a staff of 12 social coordinators on payroll,
the week is nearly full and i've not lifted a finger.
and all at the same time i'm excited,
overwhelmed by the love,
can't wait to do everything,
worried that there won't be enough time for everything,
incredibly greatful...

what a treat to be going somewhere,
and that somewhere is home.
i can't get over it.
its like i finally understand dorothy
from wizard of the freaking oz,
there is no place like home.
surrounded by wonder and beauty and the unknown of oz/paris..
there is no place like home.

so.
while i'm home one of the main things we're focusing on
is breakfast every morning.
since going out for breakfast remains my favorite meal out,
there in lie all my favorite restaurants
(except for faux bouregois..but i mean really, french food?).
deacons corner, dockers diner, odegards, jethros grub...
pick a day! join me/us/whoever!

oh and in the funny vein of things...
i acutally considered buying
a train ticket to berlin for a shoe sale.
!!!!
my favorite shoe makes, makers of my orange boots, zeha,
is based in berlin, and the three stores there
have marked ALL their shoes at 50% off.
ok now i'm considering it all over again.
:)

i made cheddar apple scones this morning...
good lord in heaven praise baby jesus i only made half the recipe...
i ate two thirds of my yield.
they were soooo good.
i can't reccomend highly enough this recipe.
perfect for this chilly day. with a cuppa while the babe is sleeping.

happy friday!

Saturday, January 08, 2011

ringing through my head this week
paul oakley's song, kiss the river

i am longing
waiting ‘til the rain
becomes a river,
swelling like a flood
so I can dive into the sweetest love

feels like this promise i've been given.
just requiring of me a little more patience.
so i will. be patient. and happily.
whatever dryness now...it's rich too.
you know?


i splurged a little this month,
and bought a plane ticket to vancouver for a week!
i honestly don't think there is a better place to vacation than home.
especially since being home will help mark a certain birthday
in a way that swells my heart.
there is no better place in life,
than with those that know you,
and love you with all that knowledge.
ugh. five weeks is going to crawl by so slowly!

Sunday, January 02, 2011


good for new years.

Saturday, January 01, 2011


another good day..
three hour skype with those whom i love,
and have a standing tradition with,
to create thoughtful new years resolutions.
just slightly adapted this year. :)
but three hours of discussion and encouragement, ideas and love.
good.