Sunday, August 29, 2010

come to mama.

Friday, August 27, 2010

um, HURRAY for this guy.
i'm so thrilled that i came across this dude's blog.
it's been unbelievably helpful.

things are coming along.
two weeks until the consulate appointment.
things will be downhill after that i think.
except for the getting rid of apartment and contents..

Tuesday, August 17, 2010


the checklist is crazy long of things to do.
big and hard and expensive stuff,
little small and tedious stuff.

quit job: check
give notice to apartment: check
request letter from provincial medical provider: check

flight, insurance, and visa...still no check.
also 6000$. no check.

i believe i believe i believe!

Monday, August 16, 2010

big things afoot.
risky, scary, pants shitting-ly big.
but if it works,
and at this point it's a large if,
could be the most worth it i've ever experienced.

tom said last night,
in life,
you may regret not taking enough risks,
but you will never regret taking too many.

Saturday, August 14, 2010

i just deleted that last one because it reeked of irrationality and emotion.
most of what said stands true,
and i'm still looking into what i said,
but i'm not sure i'm ready for just everyone to know it.

Thursday, August 12, 2010

it's only noon.
which should sum up nicely the rough winds of the morning.

not 10 minutes in, a full fledged tantrum regarding my presence,
this kid is like milady from the three musketeers.
you know this one?
an impeccable woman of society, the manners, the humor, etc,
and with hidden huge veins of anger and malice coursing through her.
scorned once, she goes and asks the cardinal to eliminate the gent.
aiya. a four year old milady.

late for tennis this morning, because the oldest couldn't find his runners,
but instead of looking for them with me,
continued to argue about wearing his flip flops.
OMG. his head was lucky to remain attached.
so racing, racing,
drive off in a huffy hurry,
only to discover once at the club that i cannot find my wallet.

sit uneasily through olivia's lesson, while the boys play crazy squash with a friend, and as soon as she's done,
race home,
look everywhere, the house, the car, the shed..nothing.
i'm seriously about to heave ho the ugly sob.

still frantic in the front yard, i see a bit of yellow walking towards me.
i look up and it's the gentleman from across the street in the orange house,
who, along with his partner i've always wanted to talk to, and get to know,
and he's holding my wallet.
he'd picked it up after it'd flown off the roof of the car.

i tear up and make a blubbery thank you and introduction blah blah.
and lovely him,
instead of being abhored at my tears,
looks at me like he'd wrap me up in his arms.
i'm crying as i write this
because i know now that it was god.
everything all wrapped up,
lessons, comfort, blessings,
there he was.

writing is CATHARDIC!!!

Monday, August 02, 2010

i really, really, really, really,
want to get this set one day.
i'm undecided if i should just get the whole thing in one go?
or should i hunt, one by one, until they are all mine?
how gorgeous will these look on a shelf?
ugh. awesome!
this evening i have a grandiose plan
to clean my apartment
whilst listening to edith piaf
drinking gin
and smoking cigarettes.
i may have to put my mad men dress on
to make the whole thing perfect.

today i woke late
had breakfast late
enjoyed the globe and mail
walked through gastown and downtown
and bought some broccoli.
i've declined two invites for tonight,
so as to just be in my own space.
i'm really, really, looking forward to it.

someone told me the other day that
paris is the place to be
for a single women in her 30's.
thats me! ...almost.
the person told me that
there is something about the city, about the age,
about that time in your life,
that weave together something altogether magical.
i'm really looking forward to this.