Monday, March 14, 2011

it's funny how ten days can get away from you.
in some ways i apologize, in others i'm apathetic.
i've actually started an ongoing email from myself that has thoughts started,
but not fully thought through, or reflected on,
but in the end would probably make for good posting.

today is a monday of mondays.
as in "someone has a case of the mondays".
what was to be a weekend of finally making it out to ikea,
meeting up with a new person friend i met..
became the weekend in which
i did not leave her bed for 36 hours
except to puke.

so back at work after a delightful weekend.
i can be thankful, however, that a trip over to the uk
was postponed from this last weekend until the next.
how much would that have sucked to have shown up puking on your friends doorstep.

monday means bible study day,
which means gotta get a weeks worth of homework done today.
yep homework.
i go to this fandangled american bible study that gives out homework.
i went to my first one last week,
and had the following thoughts
(excerpted from an eamil to a friend):

"...i'm frustrated because of where my faith is,
and having the faith and beliefs of this church held up to me,
assuming to be my guidepost, for me.
its like my faith, its between my father and me,
my love and me,
the holy spirit and me.
living in vancouver/being at mosaic has shown me what community is,
and how it's intrinsically apart of faith..
but the community/church is like a love foundation in which to express,
and crawl know?
and here it feels so suppressing and offensive...
its like they are not trusting me with my faith. trusting god with me"

but i've always know that one of my biggest vices has been to throw the baby out with the bathwater. i hear or read something that goes against what i know, and i'm out. i tune out. i have a hard time gleaning any goodness from the thing otherwise.
(i also know that the virtue of it is discernment..which i know is so good, and is a gift...but ya, i can take it too far for sure)

so i'm giving more shots. did my homework today.
the home work frustrated me.
i rebelled by reading all the required reading
in the message translation (HAHAHAHHAHAHA).
and then i just left some of the questions blank.

so we'll see.
see if the bathwater can be tossed but keeping the baby.

also, about this monday.
my work slippers royally stink.
i hate it when i have to buy replacement things.
slippers, contacts, deodorant..bah.


autumn said...

i very much enjoy this post.
you're lovely and honest and i very much appreciate you.
much love

Anonymous said...

Thank you for now puking on my doorstep.
- r.