whew. quel la nuit.
cette nuit etait '2nightsB4".
son quelque chose que la jeunesse de chilliwack fait chaque annee deux jours avant de nouvelle annee.
nous avons commence avec avec le chant des l'aloges a dieu. et alors mitch curby a parle.
il etait bon, drole.
alors nous sommes allees nager a la 'leisure center'
et a alors conduit au cinema pour observer 'santa clause 2'.
drole drole drole.

mais, maintenant son presque 3.
je suis tout a  fait fatigue et je dois travailler plus tard aujourd'hui.

MAIS sa chute de neige dur.
dur. dur. dur.
peut-etre il neigera tellement dur que je ne peux pas conduire au travail.
je ne voudrais pas conduire sur les routes dangereuses. no no no.
je pourrais mourir. les gens s'ennuieraient de moi.

your love is the anchor.
my hope is in you alone.

oh the weary journeys of a mall employee.
5am.
heartburn.
a whole day of people in exodus proportions.
and not relaxed in the slightest from any part of this holiday.

i have to go buy my bagel.
sesame seed bagel toasted with plain creamcheese.
and a bottle of water please.
2.77? ok, thank you.

and i ate a disgusting chicken pizza that has now left me in a nautious mess. i kid you not.

went to hope to give some last minute christmas presents.
glorious.
came home with my heart full.
his faithful love endures forever.

from the ends of the earth
i will cry to you for help
for my heart is
overwhelmed
lead me to your towering rock of safety
for you are my safe refuge
a fortress where my enemies cannot reach me
let me live forever in your sanctuary
safe
beneith the shadow of your wings
for you have heard my vows o god
you have given me an
inheritance reserved for those who fear your name. ps 61.2-5

for if you are silent, i might as well give up and die. ps. 28.1c

tonight i was in save on foods, picking up some supplies
amy grant christmas cd was playing . the older one i think.
at any rate, amy.
so i was thinking that it was funny that a major business was playing an obviously christian/christmas related cd.
then i thought, huh, amy grant of all people.

but maybe nobody minds that she is a christian and is singing about swaddling rags and breaths of heaven.
then i thought, probably because she is quite real.
doesn't try to pretend everythings perfect.. divorce and all.
but she shines jesus methinks

hmmm. this weekend has been rather hectic.
lots of work of course, where would shoppers be without cashiers?
and i've been soo people oriented all weekend.

so tonight is our care group shindig. its formal. and i'm not going. i don't WANT to go.
you can call me anti social, but that would be heretical.
i think its valid that i just want to stay home and
do blog,
write some,
read some chesterton.

make me whole
make me clean
make me pure as gold again
let me shine
like the stars
in the brilliant evening sky.

"this thing is for writing about raisin bran and then scripture?!" -heidi on the nature of a blog and then me showing her mine.

in the crowd that day there was a woman who for twelve years had been afflected by non stop hemmoraging. she had spent every penny she had on doctors but not one had been able to help her. she slipped in from behind an touched the edge of jesus' robe. at that very moment her hemmoraging stopped.... jesus insisited "someone touched me, i felt power discharging from me"
when the woman realized that she could not remain hidden, she knelt trembling before him. she blurted out her story- why she touched and how at that same moment she was healed.
jesus said
"daughter! you took a risk trusting me,
and now you're healed and whole.
live well, live blessed.

today i talked to the raisin bran.
"don't worry. i'll come eat you after my shower"

time passage is an odd thing.
today i padded around the house having called in sick.
and at random times throughout the day, i would look at the clock and think 'i would still be at work'.
being at work doesn't usually seem like eight hours. its just being at work.
but at home by myself, it was so slow.
not a bad slow. just a slow that made me think 'i stand work for this long?'

i'm so drained. i felt a little bad calling in this morning because i was not barfing,
but i had no energy. no positive thought about getting through the day.
i slept 11 hours until 11 this morning, called, and then went back to sleep for another 5.

jeez i sound depressed. nope! just glad that the nothingness of today happened.
and i feel like i have to justify it.

I danced in the morning when the world was young
I danced in the moon and the stars and the sun
I came down from heaven and I danced on the earth
At Bethlehem I had my birth
Dance, dance, wherever you may be
I am the lord of the dance, said He
And I lead you all, wherever you may be
And I lead you all in the dance, said He

tonight i had my staff christmas partay. we ate lots for $10 at bp's.
there something about the way drunk people look like.. the eyes, ahhhh.
one guy that was there (non staffo) recently won the showcase on price is right. the whooole shebang. he showed up with his friend (who was staff) quite late so those of us who were still around were enraptured for a good while. he WON. insane. he's an mk from ecudor curently living in sacrmento. reminded me of eric from that 70's show.

gas is now 59.9.
jesus is a-comin.

i worked till eight and then went out with my favorite person celeste. it was rad because we actually expressed in our own.. unique.. ways that we appreciate each other sooo much, and are glad for the friendship. i said she'd be the one my tomboy daughter (horrors horrors horrors) turns to later in life and talks about how much her mum doesn't understand her. then i'd get mad at (auntie) celeste and tell her to stop spending so much time with MY daughter.
celeste said 'ya, that'd be the awkward phone call.. the one and only awkward moment for us.'

now i have pretty links. priiiiitty.

tonight we went about the town with turkey dinner fixins and handed them out to some familys. i'm thinking if i've ever done this before i although i know i've had the oppertunity.. this is the first time i've actually handed over a blessing.
with me i had some of my gr 12 care group and a kid named adam.. so when we got to the house, it was me they expected to be the voice of confidence and generosity. i was secretly hoping one of them would do it. so i knocked and said what we had for them..

inside was filled with smokey gratitude and awe-ish, warm curiosity.
they knew absolutly they deserved nothing.

i'm trying to think of words that describe how i saw them, and their apartment, the feeling of peace, tho maybe not so, that lived there. how simply they expressed their thanks, more being said than words spoken.

and then it just comes to me and fits perfectly,
i saw jesus.

its funny how you may loftily think about something.. maybe take a few steps towards actually doing it with some genuine desire.
but then when for actual reasons it becomes not do-able...
oh how then you wish you could do it.
cause then its safe.

an aversion to repetition he says.
i laugh i laugh
potato salad and bears and roomates and graffiti at the skytrain.
thinking makes me laugh harder.

to all you who felt the conviction to call and yell at us at ole gap regarding the whole 'can't say merry christmas' hoopla.
or walked in and tore into the poor person who greeted you with anything other than something with christ in it...

this is how you let folks know you are a christian. nice choice. way to get all the facts and then 'defend' what you believe in. whoo hoo. you're the big man now.

hung out in hope today/night.. its such a rad thing to have older people in your life
who are like you
and think like you
but have been doing that for a little whiles longer.
so fun and encouraging.
there's hope that i will not turn out the way i sometimes fear i will.

hmmm.

hmm a blog. new concept. introduced by a friend.. whoes is quite good and now as i'm typing i think i may be in over my head. well its 1209 and i just got home from a) work and b) my friends house where they have cream cheese icing bars in the freezer. sleep is an idea at the back of my head but hunger as well. supper was not entirely existant. i wonder who'll win. sleep.. or hunger.



a prof of mine once gave us the concept of "widolif" write it down or lose it forever. i mean, thats cheesy as hell, but i guess it has some merit.