Sunday, January 12, 2003

two nights ago i made a platisine sculpture of the state of my heart. as per the objective of the group building game. i knew instantly that what i needed to make was a shell. nothing else occured to me even once. but when it came time to share what our creations meant- mine was the only was that wasn't cut and dry christian. someone even said "wow, thanks for being able to share that" and i thought, is it so deep? was i expected to create a sailboat, representing god being the wind and directing me where i should go blah blah? good grief- it seems to me that, generally, there is a lack of vulnerability. not that i'm poured out for all to see- i suck suck at being vulnerable (dargatz, love). but i guess its more obscure that i thought. everyone's got pat struggles to confess, but really, if you want to love and be loved, to know and be known really then we've gotta learn to put some of ourselves out there.

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