my spirit is weighed down with heavy
smelly shit.
all day i've been looking forward
to going home after work
taking a bath
and a nap
then leisurely making my way over to the space for a show
but as i was getting ready to head home
my keys are nowhere to be found
the keys for my car
the keys for my house
the keys for my peace and heart
i ended up walking all over creation
reatracing every step i'd made today
to
no
fucking
avail.
finally around six i left my work
got on a bus.almost the wrong bus.changed buses.missed my stop.walked walked.
got to the space to use the phone
turns out landlord is a scatterbrained ass who can't get me in to my place/a new set of keys until tommorow/late afternoon.
and my sister is graciously driving out from chilliwack to offer me a new car key.

but tonight.
i am all empty.
drained of all control for emotion
of all enegery (which could be topped off if i go eat something)
seemingly of all will to hope, which is mostly not true.

jesus help me i can't.