umm i hope sandra doesn't read this,

but i opened up all 12 days of christmas in one day.

santa didn't bring me that self control i'd asked for.

baby's in the kitchen decorating cookies.
the kid has naturally good taste, so i don't feel the need to sit in there with her and mediate the process.
she's singing to herself and perfecting the use of the icing knife.

me, i'm in the living room, on my third cup.
boys are at a friends, holy moly thanks so much carrie.
i'm in a grump mood today.
and what a day for it, right before christmas eve, and we baked these cookies.. i don't think i made the event as fun as it could have been. boo me. just no patience, and too much controlling. things go so much better when i let them create things outside of how i would have done it. but today grump grump grump. sorry guys.

and why should i be so grumpy?
last night i got the best gift i've ever gotten in years and years.
a huge, huge box, wrapped and really heavy, with instructions not to open it until dec. 26th.
as if.
i opened it as soon as i got home,
and found a large beautiful note explaining that this gift was the 12 days of christmas.
whaaaat?
i pulled off some of the papers used to pack it, and inside wall to wall, top to bottom, are 12 beautifully wrapped gifts. each with its own hand drawn card explaining how it pertains to the 'day' it represents.

upon realizing what it was, my feet did not stop hopping, and i did not stop whooping, and then i cried. and cried. and felt so loved, and appreciated, and cared for..all these good things. and hopefully was able to communicate that a little bit to S later that night on the phone.
man, i have a present to open every day until january 6th.

so maybe today is like a hangover from that. hmm.

stuck in a mental place of regret.
sheree's song is going through my head
'can't live regret can only patch up the seams'

a very brief spot of morning where the house is completely empty and i've got a minute to finish my coffee and read the movie reviews for this weekend.
its the kids christmas concert at school, and the whole house emptied.
while normally i'm an emotional sucker for things such as the above, today there remained no other option for me than to stay and be surrounded by quiet and coffee.
the last two nights i've been out until midnight+, some shows etc,
but yesterday really did me in with 22 kids plus parents and siblings coming over for lunch post kindergarten. while trying to fend off this cold. whoa!

so i'm incredibly thankful for this moment.
its so still i can cut it.
and my coffee is not cold yet.
and there is lots of information on the massaschusetts molasses massacre...get excited, its coming..

also, i've been thinking that i'll never be a mccrary sister if i keep getting nervous shakey voice when impromptu asked to sing things..ann or regina would never get nervous shakey voice.

my second cup of coffee is brewing.
today three year old and i were making some christmas crafts,
(me trying to find every use possible for the behemoth stack of construction paper we purchased last week, seriously, 3/4 foot thick).
after we'd pasted together trees, santa's, santa's cousin baby jesus, some presents,
she got into drawing a picture that was mainly about me.
about how i'd been kidnapped and locked away,
and the bad people had replaced me so no one would know
(seriously, she's three..).
but the good guys figured out this replacement wasn't me,
because when they asked 'evil julie' if she wanted some coffee,
she said,
"no, i don't like coffee".
and the good guys said,
"you're not the real julie! what have you done with the real julie?"

blessed.

friends go on tour and leave me their house to sleep in if need be because its really close to work.

killed my cell phone but had three people offer up some extra's they had.

tired, but going home to watch survivor and grey's and snuggle on the couch.

the abundance of people needing a babysitter this time of year...

..making possible the purchase, finally! of a pair of gorgeous german made boots.

to be continued for sure.

only a little note to say,
really go and read brock's little post about a mall supper.