there has been some badgering from some corners of the world,
and i was thinking about it today,
that henceforth, i'm going to make more of an effort to photographically document goings on here.
i think i'm, mostly sub-conciously, a little conciously, averse to carrying my camera around and whipping it out..that somehow it takes away from me just experiencing. and somehow too, not wanting to paint an unrealistic picture of life here.
because on a bare level, thats what it is for me. just life. just life? hmm.
i guess i should confess that i'm not experiencing paris to it's fullest. i can blame this and that (exaustion, stomach flu, no funds), but i think i'm doing what i tend to default to. which is lay low, make time go by holeing up on my own.
but in being here, is something. something bigger than i'm currently embracing it as.
and i'm wasting it. wasting me.
these were my thoughts today, smoking out the kitchen window, after giving it a pretty decent scrub down (except the floors. still have yet to purchase a damn mop/swiffer thing). i'm not living. i'm letting. it took me a long time in vancouver to acknowledge the same things, but by the time i did, i had a solid, amazing amassment of people in my life. i turned myself from a recluse into a host. which was a huge thing. maybe not recluse..but anyways.
even though i don't have the same amassment, or a person, i need to break out. choose..something.
for now, that something is taking more photo's intentionally, intentionally being creative. using that eye. we'll see what happens next.