ok. here is my rant against true loves waits and such shit.
lets get together thousands and thousands of youth, get them all riled up about how sex should be saved for marriage and get them to sign a contract with god saying they will save themselves.
well i'm going to sign a contract with god saying that i will kill the next thing that walks out my door as a sacrifice. oh look its my daughter..ah well, bang bang.
rallying up soo many kids to say 'sure can do it on my own, gonna sign some paper to show i will'... says that there is no place for the grace and forgivness that jesus rains down.
its like the embodiment of the antichrist.
do not make contracts with god. we have the one that stomps them all. jesus christ.
we cannot do anything on our own. it is christ that lives in me. and we signed that bad boy, book of life kids.
instead of telling god what we will do, lets further acknowlage our brokeness, our filth, and our complete dependance on his mercy that knows no impatience, on his love that knows no winds of change.

i see more frayed ends to something i've seen severed for years
something i'm beginning to see though the eyes of my life
but then, actually,
my life is part of that something..
and i begin to see why it can hurt so much.

julie's trivial traumatic experience of the day

this morning on my way out the door for work, i put on my beloved gold/tan zip hoodie.

some hoodie history:
was purchased the summer of 2001, almost three years ago.
this hoodie has been single handedly the greatest cut of cloth i own.
its color went with EVERYthing, layered well, dressed up, dressed down.
there is no hestitation in saying its my favorite. my favorite everything.
i love this hoodie.

and on my way out the door, i went to zip it up (its how she likes to be worn), and fwoop! the zipper head came flying off as the end of the zipper, from loving wear and tear, had frayed itself off.
i actually stood in shock, i couldn't scream, i couldn't cry, everything just stopped. it was awful. i didn't know what to do.

it is almost time for bed.
tommorow i go back to work from a nice four day weekend.
i had a great weekend with so many people and intresting places.
some of these places and people are:
cobalt. eeee. juststay..away from me.
cypress. (i am the bunny hill conquerer).
heidi's couch. heidi's fish crackers.
abby. ('this is how you do a dum plee-ay')
vanesssssssa and her house.
foundation restuarant. (x2)
dave "we all need to pick theme songs to go through our head while we go down"***
wongs noodle house.
kelly "i need a frosty" "i'm going to langley to pick up pictures so shut up"
jojojojojojojojojojojojojojojo. we're the coolest people ever. apparently banjos=humor. i'm not sure.
my chilliwack couch, watching identity. holy crap.
lephen and stisa. and davemyers-"it will look like real shit, and it will look like a real stick"

ok there is my weekend. i'm reading some really good books right now...the library has re-accepted me into its fold since i paid off my 14 dollar fine-yikes. but i'm glad to be back. last week my friend stephen bought me a star trek calender and so today i found a johnny cash calender for him.
i have no idea why he bought me a star trek calender...they're actually might be a small idea.

***my theme song was originally the monkeys theme song "here we come.." you know, but then i got told that, with a song like that, its no wonder i kept bailing. 'you gotta slow the beat down'..so my real song ended up being a little ditty by karen carpenter.. (minus all that crap at the beginning about birds suddenly appearing)
we've only just begun, to live.
white lace and promises. a kiss for luck and we're on our way. (we've only begun..)
before the rising sun, we fly. so many roads to choose, we start out walking and learn to run (and yet we've just begun)
sharing horizons that are new to us, watching the signs along the way....
talking it over just the two of us. working together day by day
and when the evening comes we smile
so much of life ahead, we'll find a place where theres room to grow
and yes we've just begun.

its SO TRUE..augh. i mean, i wore white lace and everything.

yesterday i ate the best sandwhich that i've ever had in my whole life.
so i had it again for dinner.
and again for lunch today.

today i sold food to jay ferguson (sloan)and jason lee.
my shallow celebrity encountering life is complete.

i think i'm a big talker.
i'm either the first or the last to notice.
i have lots of ideas of what i want to do..ideals, idealisms, a design class..
they come right out my mouth to a few great sounding boards, and then everyone else
but they stay that way.
a good chunk of reason is owing to forgetting.. getting too caught up in current life to follow through
but all is heard is words, and then nothing.
i'm restless. what else is new.
its a restlessnes that goes beyond my current circumstance
its got of my past, present, hopes, dreams, regrets..
deeply rooted,
proclaimed good.

where has all the thyme gone.
and the rosemary.
today i was a prep. cook.
hung out with the cool pastries and preppies.
my boss was eardly. i cannot for the life of me understand about half of what he says. i just smile or laugh if i see him smiling or laughing and for this reason he loves me and thinks i am the most wonderful secratary.

i'm feeling the winds of some change these days. it seems everywhere i look, things are beckoning me to think more broadly about..well, life i guess, but things in life. aspects of life.

i got my ass in action last week and learned to snowboard.. and now my ass is paying. and my tum tum. and my upper back and shoulders. i was hoping to be the glorious exception to the "all new boarders spend the whole first day on there ass" rule.