"..you wield your sword rather than following it where ever it falls."
".. because the purpose is to influence the darkness with light, not to just visit it."
talking about a certain level of arts in the christian context. these two lines jumped out at me.
really glad i read this article.

read it.

today i didn't get productive until about 10.30 pm.
i completly organized my closet.
today doesn't feel like monday. or rather, it doesn't feel like monday night.
more like a sunday night.
i got a letter from a lovely girl in winipeg. she's my favorite.
i had a good catch up with a friend on saturday night. ran into each other on a bus and ended up skytraining all the way out to surrey together. yo.

i'm so tired. i'm so wired.
this entry is pointless.
i went to wi on sat night as well. beatboxing. is that how you spell it? right on. right. on.

long hair.
butt crack.
inevitable.
whats the big deal?

got back from seeing some bands at the main
early, i admit, but i choose to ere on the side of getting up for work on time
as it were, out the seven people in the three bands, six of them were from chilliwack
mostly in gr 12 when i was tenth
and so the whole crowd was oddly familiar faces.
one of the guys in the first band was a 'from afar admiration' for me
and tonight i applauded my own good taste, even when i was in piddly gr 10
there is something to be said for all these tall lanky musicians

its funner doing nothing at someone else's house.
you end up eating yummy american doughnuts
and maybe your neck will get rubbed..or something..
nothingness is definatley more fun elsewhere. but only if you were planning on nothingness in the first place. cause then it could totally be anti climatic. AND the elsewhere generally has to be someone's house. you know, a certain level of comfortness that come with books and couches and kitchen sinks and cutco knives.
i have to pee. bye.

look at me. eating a cranberry tart. i am a tart.
tart. tart.

you don't have to believe me, you probalby don't even feel like considering it. but it will.
the words of a friend who alone (these days) has the ability to bring the good tears.

friggin friiiiiiig. i just took out my garbage. ooo ee i'm so independant. someone stop me.
i was laughing because i couldn't get all the garbage into one can. i produce so much waste!! ah ha ha. i was kneeling on the garbage to make it squish. all by myself in a dark alley.
i also bought groceries. and yet again i fall victim to shopping when i'm hungry. crap!
i also bought life is beautiful (original italian thank you very much) for 3.99 and circle of friends on dvd for 6.99.
god is a dj. life is a dancefloor. love is the rhythm. god wants me to shake my ass. i believe it!

i went for a walk.
totally a mild quiet night.
i walked by a guy on his porch in a fleece reading a book.
and i thought, me too.

wow. pedro show was the best thing i've seen in a while.
i was tired and worn from the day..
the show was my hot supper, slippers, daily paper, and loving doggie waiting for me at the foot of my chair by the fire.

there have got to be some opera's with some good character development.

oi i worry to much. and then stress about it.
chill out julie, chill out.
had my friends over for dinner to celebrate moya naissance.
it was a good day with my sister, and true to her nature, calmed my stress with her presence..laughed with me, just served, deboned the chicken when i thought it was boneless as i freaked out at both the grossness of it and at the time.
then bub and her started and finished the dishes respectivly...
it was a good night.
boing boing boing snap. boing boing boing snap. spring break.
listening to: high and dry...oh the bends. such an album.
but birthday week has not yet come to an end.
friday is alana symphony/opera and then saturday night all my musical dreams come true. oh you know.

"kill your tv's today"
"tv can kiss my ass"
"tv...what a waste of life"
"up yours, tv"
"sigh...tv" (shaking head)
"I HATE TEEEEE VEEEEE" (shaking fist)

i have taken to quoting brock. only because he's so damn funny.

hey.
blogging isn't as fun as it used to be.
so, sorry.


nobody likes a selfish bastard.
thats the name of the sermon i'm listening to right now..passion/truth/bad words..

my toaster electrocuted me.
at first i didn't know what it was
but i figured it out pretty quick.

198 flavors of gelato?
vegan cheesecake?
julie's first falafel?
why, she must have been on commercial drive today.
she was hanging out with her friend olivia
olivia's heading off to europe to work for PETA
then going to work on a farm in the czech republic

just saw the corporation. amazing.
beyond what it tells you to be aware of,
it, and companion, also got me thinking about other stuff too.
i think, in an attempt to hold the banner of love for all people,
there are fears in me about having concrete opinions..i've shyed away from a stand, equalling a stand with closemindedness.. maybe..?
while i still claim openmindedness above all..
i don't know
i need to put some intention in some topical reading.

sorry for the aparent choppiness.

well it was the makings of the laziest day this week has seen.
with laziness is bound to come boredom, and he came in around 5 in sunday best.
so faced with the prospect of dealing with him
my ass went and did three loads and 5.25 dollars of laundry
my ass made a mediocre curry veg supper
my ass went for a run
my ass got the video returned on time
my ass is suffering heartburn from the curry/run combo
my ass will actually suffer from the curry/veg/run combo later.

i love days when god lets the uniquness and the beauty of people hit me in the face
instead of customer 104, i get bearded guy giving off smiles for no real reason at all.
or old man calling me deary, as if its the most natural thing, simpley because of my smile and my youngness.
its especially good when i'm having a really frustrating day.. salve of the holy spirit to calm.

(i just reread that and i feel like my friend melissa..heymelwhasup?)


whenever i go over to people's houses, i inevitably find myself mentally rearranging the furnature and wall decor to make it better. i do this everywhere. sorry.

ok i have to get ready for mosaic now. i'm still in caramel clothes and runners.

oh ya, my friend olivia and me just finished reading the harry potters books at the same time, so work the last few days has been continuous discussion, a few bouts of trivia, and uncontrolable giggling at our nerdiness. there is a white board at work that has all the days workers listed, and when you go for your break, its somehow indicated beside your name (a heart, a star, blah blah). me and olivia have been drawing elaborate pictures of us as characters from harry potter..e.lab.or.ate. and then we pee ourselves laughing some more. seriously, we're FUNNY.

today an old couple were in line to buy bread.
the man randomly put his arm around his wife's head and kissed it.
i'd like that please.

damn these stupid tests, of which i condemn, but boredom is a gravitational force to be reckoned.
however, this one was educational. i felt like i was taking my lit provincial aaaall over again.
if you're literarily inclined,
check out
http://poetry.com/Iq/index.asp
and take this craaaaazy quiz (where they surprise you at the end and make you submit your own poem for evaluation before they give you the score..heads up)

Your General Poetic Knowledge Score is 11 out of a possible 11
"You have an excellent grasp of poetic form, structure, and technique. People at this level have generally taken advanced-level study in literature or have completed advanced poetry courses. They have often spent considerable time writing, developing their own poetic “voice,” and their own techniques. People at this level, particularly if they can apply their knowledge of poetic form and structure to their own work, are considered among the most talented of poetic artists."

mmmhmmm. thas right baby, thas right.

"Sin is incurable by the strength of man, nor does free will have any validity here, so that even the saints say: 'The evil which I do not wish, this I do.' 'You are not doing the things which you wish.' 'Since my loins are filled with illusions,' etc."

You are Martin Luther!
Yeah, you have a way of letting everyone know how you feel, usually with Bible quotes attached, and will think your way through the issues, although sometimes you make no sense! You aren't always sure of yourself, and you can change your mind about things, something you actually consider a strength. You can take solitude, especially with some music.

http://steve.faithweb.com/Quiz/theologian.html



hey, right on. i've always felt a little kindred with luth. i mean, who needs the book of james anyway??

i went for a run today.
1/2 hour.
i didn't run for all of it,
but definatly more than half.

the above words are stolen from a friend who in turn swiped them from his collection of sylvia plath works.

right now i am quite caught up in the harry potter series. and i'm overwhelmed by the greatness of them. i'm about 1/5 into the last one, and i find myself incredibly eager when i think about picking it up again. i finished the forth one the other night, crying because cedric diggory died, and then i couldn't stop thinking about it all the next day at work. there is some great literary merit to this author i tell you. i can't wait till some kids i know are just a little bit older and i can read these to them.

i ran into my long lost friend erica today on msn, she's having a daughter in a few monthes, and i feel so removed from her ottawa life..i havn't seen her in almost two years.
its so crazy to have three years of incredible, nearly effortless friendships, living together in regina. and now three years worth of friends are spread all over canada and u.s...a few gone global. its hard..but i welcome it, because, well, i do. gives me a trip to winnipeg to look forward to. =)

ok. here is my rant against true loves waits and such shit.
lets get together thousands and thousands of youth, get them all riled up about how sex should be saved for marriage and get them to sign a contract with god saying they will save themselves.
well i'm going to sign a contract with god saying that i will kill the next thing that walks out my door as a sacrifice. oh look its my daughter..ah well, bang bang.
rallying up soo many kids to say 'sure can do it on my own, gonna sign some paper to show i will'... says that there is no place for the grace and forgivness that jesus rains down.
its like the embodiment of the antichrist.
do not make contracts with god. we have the one that stomps them all. jesus christ.
we cannot do anything on our own. it is christ that lives in me. and we signed that bad boy, book of life kids.
instead of telling god what we will do, lets further acknowlage our brokeness, our filth, and our complete dependance on his mercy that knows no impatience, on his love that knows no winds of change.

i see more frayed ends to something i've seen severed for years
something i'm beginning to see though the eyes of my life
but then, actually,
my life is part of that something..
and i begin to see why it can hurt so much.