i just bought a multitude of groceries to make a relativly simple dinner.
but now i don't want to make my supper,
beacuse i like the way groceries look in my fridge.

hot shower
time for bed
tommorow is the proverbial friday
white duck tape is ingenious. looks like plaster to me.
i like cream in my coffee
i like to sleep late on sundays
nobody know's me like my baby
i like eggs over easy
with them flour tortilla's
nobody knows me like baby.
i put my favorite white dress on
and my two dollar shoes
tie my hair up the way up you like
make you see that i'm still in love with you.
i've got reservations
about so many things
but not about you.
well you've set up your place in my thoughts
moved in and made my thinking crowded
i could go crazy on a night like tonight
summers beginning to give up her fight
and every thought's a possibility
when voices are heard but nothing is seen
why do you spend this time with me
maybe an equal mystery.
montage.

hey guys. i'm totally in transistion these days...without internet connection. so i'm sitting here in a coffee shop, trying to feel the virtual love.
as i check my eamil i've realized all the rad things that happened in the last week. some shows, meetings...all missed because of expensive network cable. but as of friday, i'll be loving blair adn candace a great deal.

so greetings to my loves.

god is beautifully faithful this week, despite, it seems, my shitty brokenness.
faithful to hear and answer the weird non coherent crys of my heart for healing. for love. for..stuff. =)

there are two things i would like to tell you about. so much so, that thinking about them drew me here to tell you.

one. the movie 'zelery'. its a czech film. its beautiful. for you vancouver's, its playing at tinsletown.

two. a few weeks ago at mosaic, me and dana were counting the offering up in don's office, and amongst the coin and some cheques, was a safeway gift card for 25$. on it was written, "donalds food voucher".
donald is a really neat guy. he's a recovering drug addict, loves jesus, feels called to be a shephard one day. in his life, he feels like he's not ready/strong enough to receieve any cash help, so amongst other things, the church gives him safeway cards.
when i saw the card in the offering, and dana explained to me what it was, i wanted to cry.
he faithfully, sacrificially, gives 10% of what he has.
of what he's given, he doesn't hesitate to realize the blessing of god and give back.
oh jesus.

in my tired and irritated state
i'm, at the moment, thrilled that i'm moving to my own bloody apartment at the end of this week.
me myself and i.

spent the weekend in chilliwack, having fun, getting tired out.
got some really good music that i just need to share.
from a basement on a hill-elliot smith. phenomenal album.
there will be a light- ben harper and the blind boys of alabama
hymns of the 49th parallel- kd lang. stunning. covers of all these rad canadian musicians including joni mitchel (who never lets anyone cover her stuff), ron sexsmith, jane sibbery, bruce cockburn, leonard cohen.
stan robinson- stan robinson. oh ya.

well, i'm feeling the need to climb into bed, away from weird things, and read. harry potter? don miller? will i ever finish naomi klein?
my feet are cold.

some lisa wisdom.
"i want to be so careful about being, while in my desire to see justice, not judging. its such a fine line. especially when the injustice is hurting you and creating this unhealthy thing in you. "

"god doesn't care about muffin bags."

and some julie wisdom.
"always keep an emergency bus twoonie somewhere safe, for when the morning comes that your car has been broken into and the burgler somehow finds your spare key (that you thought you lost) on the floor and then breaks the key off in the ignition making it very hard to start the car with your own key."

wow. tongiht was a funny night.
at the last minute, thanks to ben and his compassionate guestlist powers, i got into a good show for zero dollars.
i should admit here though, its not this nice little rareity that happens when my freinds put me on the guest list. i ask for it all the time. i like getting into shows for free. if you're in a band, and ask me to come to a show, i'll ask about a guestlist. i will. i'm shameless. but humble too. =)

and a good, nay great, walk for, what ended up being crepes and coffee. james frey, art, life. a good fizzle drizzle kinda rain.
i got excited about some creative stuff. its good for me to think intentionaly about being creative. i think i like myself more.
good night.
i'm listening to damien rice and reading searching for god knows what. oh, and go see the motorcycle diaries. beautiful. perfect.

church art. 

i'm watching
i am sam
i'm bawling.

::edit:: make that sobbing.

today i bought christmas tree ornaments.
i was walking around the bay, and suddenly there i was surrounded by all things christmas and beautiful. and then suddenly i found myself surrounded by tables declaring '75% off'.
and i thought to myself, what a wonderful world.

i also bought a pumpkin pie. (behind my hand i'm giggling).

hey buggers i made a quiz so you can show me your love in intellect forms.
take said quiz. prove your powers.

i wish you all could hear my little ode to soy milk that i'm singin.
seriously, my discovery of soy milk has put dance in my step
loopyness on my face
clear sailing in my bowles.
amen.

julie holds enlightenment.  

yikes. bikes.
i'm moving.
i'm worried about the pending stress.
oh help.

edmonton sarah.  

staying with this fine lady and her house of wonder and commnunity. its so great. i havn't seen her in two years (three?) and its so great to be here.

i would move to edmonton in a second were it not for inconceivable cold and that its not vancouver.
i have been blown away (blindsided) by the amount of people i have reconnected with.
tonight me and karms are going to nathan and heidi's for supper. then everyone else is coming over. i love it.
last night we went over to lane's. tim and carmen were there. my my.

you don't know these people.

uh huh.

the one day i feel like walking and walking.
torrents.
lunch.newspaper.bible at the mongol grill. cheap and yummy. a winning combination.
after i walked to lugz coffee.
so, super hot ethan hawke lookalike guy, turns out to be super short ethan hawke lookalike guy. the workers there stand on a platform behind the counter. i chuckled to myself.
then it wasn't pouring,
so decided to walk to mec.
heard some urban legend about 14 dollar rain coats. no dice.
walked back
picked up 6 dvd's for 10 bucks. rented that is. heathers, billy elliot, dogma, the hours, about a boy, best of will ferrell. heeee.
i'm drenched. but in a nice, gettin ready to cuddle up on my couch kinda way.

some thoughts from a tired, worn out mind. today.
-i'm glad that there is a grocery store both really close to my house, and on the way home from work. thats nice.
-my life is rich frienship wise. really rich.
-damn, i forgot milk.
-christa from work looks like it'll be a really cool friendship.
-i wonder if i should round a bunch of people up to go see saved! at the cheap theatre, or wait until it comes out on video.
-oo! i always forget there is orange juice in here. yay!
-what a sweet movie.
-i'm happy that i havn't been as lazy a protester as usual with the whole anti starbucks thing. thanks super hot guy at lugz.
-i wonder if celeste is still in langely, or back in hope.
-i kinda wish i didn't have to go to bed so early tonight..but i guess i'm glad because it will make me stay and cuddle on my couch. thanks super hot guy at lugz. just kidding.
-only two more days of work, then two days off, and then two more days of work...and then..OREGON!! (i've done this minute little equation about a hundred times today)
-whats that smell. whats trista making. wierd.

today surprised me.
my sister called at 930 to say that she's coming to vacnouver.
i say, come over. we'll go to the ikea thats closer to my house.
i say, you need a new bible? lets go to the bible society. a whole store full of just bibles.
i say, let me take you down main street. into some cool stores that make me adore vancouver.
my sister says, ok. i will buy this skirt. wow. its nice.
i say, you're so cuuuute. chilliwack will not know what to do with the greatness of this skirt. you are a vancouver girl at your core. i know it.
my sister says, nope. i'm staying (in chilliwack).
also,
i had enough points on my superstore card for 20 bucks free groceries. beautiful music to these broke ears. i bought chicken, and rice, and banana's, batteries, butter, and bbq sauce.

and hurrah all my friends are back in there normal beds. its so nice.

so.
my flight that i thought was going to be $50 each way,
is now only $9 each way.
what the hell.
are you even making money you silly people?
fly me away.
to telecaster, to dargy poo, to karmenchu, to meganheatherbecki, to katiebaby.

:edit:
not only did the price go back up to 50, it has now gone to 84.
moral of the story. always have money on your mastercard ready to go at a moments $9 flight sale.
daaaammmnnn.

this is celeste and her friend christoph...=)
celeste and i are going to oregon for a week.
we are both thrilled at this pending vacation.

"When we talk about relationships with people, we use phrases like "invest in people," "this person is priceless," or "this relationship is bankrupt." By using economic metaphor we've begun to think of love like money. There is this sense that we can't love homosexuals because that's endorsing them. So, we spout little cliches like "hate the sin, but love the sinner" but we don't actually do that. We sort of isolate ourselves from the world because we fear them, we don't understand them. I think the root of that problem is the fact that we treat love like money. We exist in this social economy where we use affection as dollars."

"...One of those issues is homosexuality. Conservatives will say, you shouldn't embrace these people or accept them in our community or let them be in leadership positions because it's a sin, and they're all pissed off. Certainly it's a sin; it's something that God probably wants to deal with people about. But homosexuality is not a sin any more than, say, gluttony is a sin. And that means we love them, we keep them in our community. If they repent about it and want to try to change, that's great. If they don't I'm not going to kick them out of our community. When science says people are born homosexuals, I would say absolutely people are born homosexuals. Satan is an unfair guy, he rules this world."
-donmillerinterview

hey guys i saw this on someones blog, and out of boredom i loved the idea. so its the 'say something about your friends but don't tell them its them'. you can try and guess if you like.

1.I can’t say that I’ve liked you for my whole life, but I’ve probably loved you the whole time. But now I like you. And respect you and your heart. I want the best for your mind and your heart and your life. Move to Vancouver. Ha. You are generous, loyal, compassionate to a fault (nearly), funny, beautiful, stylish and finally an individual. I love it. I love seeing you be a woman, being a liver of life. With you I’m the most real I ever am. The most comfortable. You are life long. Thank god.

2. My oldest friend. Junior high. But now you’re far away. I have long long respected your absolute individuality and confidence. Your satisfaction in who you are is astounding to me. And your love for where you came from, baffles me sometimes. But in you I can see it, and love it too. I love that you are amaaaazing at keeping in touch when it gets to be just a little too long. And the ease in getting together with you even after something like two years.

3. You are the wisest, most confident but at the same time beautifully insecure woman. I can’t believe you’re younger than me some days. And your style leaves me nothing but a copycat. I respect how real you are in everything. With your marriage, your friendships, with your relationship with jesus. I have learned to be more real because of you. You never say anything to fill space, or anything you havn’t thought about. Incredible. Listening to you pray moves me. You are thoughtful, fluidic, and genuine.
You are the most beautiful woman I know. The most beautiful woman I know.

4. People tell us we look it all the time, but most days I do feel like you are truly my brother. Looking at you and your whole life, you have changed me. You change me daily. You (and above wife) are the most influential person in my spiritual life…I guess in all my life. I don’t think I understood unconditional love until I knew your freindship. Seriously. Your guys’ love for me blows me away. Your guys’ love for each other blows me away, and made me think marriage isn’t what I thought, good and bad (hahahaha). You encourage me to trust, to love, to believe. Man I could go on. I don’t have words to tell all of who you are to me. I love you.

5. Ah the mild saga that is our frienship. But keeps getting richer and better with everything. I know I told you this, but you are the friend who I’ve learned the most about myself from. You are a great mirror, an amazing sounding board, and when you don’t give the stupid side hugs, the best hugs come from you too. I am thrilled for you in your life right now. I don’t think I’ve really told you that. I’m so happy that you get to experience all of it, and I’m jealous of that alone, because I want it too. You make me laugh like no one. You make me see life like no one. You are selfless, generous (!), patient, cautious, truthful. 4 years and going. Potatosaladbearsgraffititelecasterboy. Again, I could say more and more. But these are just words. My friend from life.

6. You have always loved me, since coming into my life when I was 15. You’re home has always been open for me, and your kids have been my kids. You have insane amounts of compassion and generosity. Your love to be a mom, to bloom where you’re planted, is a huge example of strength and love. One of many I see in your house and marriage and ministry. I love that you’re friendships see no age borders. I love you that you let me come over with incredibly short notice (or none at all!) and eat the damn fish crackers and drink iced tea.

7. You totally came into my life out of nowhere, full force and it was beautiful. Sneaking off from MI to have talks. Driving out to see you in SK was the one of the best times in my life. Well, not the driving part, but the seeing you on Sunday morning and crying out of fatigue and stress. Falling asleep on your bed and couch listening to sigur ros. Our frienship has taught me redemption. And about forgetting about the shitty stuff and loving anyways. Hmm, that sounds like we slept with each others men. Well we all know how that will never be the case! I love loving you. I love hashing out ideas with you. I love borrowing your books. I love that you make me think about things like I’ve never thought, with one well thought out sentence. I hope you get to eat schnitzel.

oh fuck.